The Start of Something New
by TobyandSpencer
Summary: Spencer is finally out of college, beginning her new life with Toby. But with -A still following her tracks, she fears the worst. Christmas comes around, and she tries everything to just enjoy the time she has with Toby and the girls. But with time going on, comes growing up, and facing the struggles of being an adult.
1. Chapter 1: Living Normal

Sipping the warm coffee between her lips, she shivered slightly, as the hot brew of black coffee ran down her throat. The winter air howled outside, the white covered skies bright with the snow. Spencer was always a little stand offish about snow. She enjoyed it a lot more when she was a kid. But, now she preferred staying inside with a fresh cup of coffee. And, she liked staying inside where her boyfriend, Toby Cavanaugh, was trying to fit a huge Christmas elm tree inside his tiny loft.

Spencer took in the scene of him, shoving the large tree upright, his back arched against the tree. Spencer couldn't help but giggle, as he struggled pushing it into the corner to her left. His brown hair pressed against his head, a sold black beanie on his head. He still had on his gray coat; he had carried the entire tree into the loft by himself. Spencer had tried to help him, but being the protective boyfriend he always had been, he didn't want her to get "hurt". Spencer just let him be himself, not wanting to ruin the process of him getting the tree inside. Still, it had been around five minutes, and he still couldn't get the spiky tree to stand upright. He had nailed down the trunk into those wood planks used to hold them up, but this tree mocked him, and kept leaning too much to the right. Spencer sighed for her poor love, and she set her coffee on the coffee table, and went over to her boyfriend. He slanted the tree with his arms, but when he let go, it swayed back to the right. He grabbed his beanie off his head, and threw it to the floor next to him on his left.

"I swear, this tree is laughing at me." He complained, and took a few steps back, and sat on the couch.

Spencer went over to him, hugging his shoulders lightly. He was so focused on that one tree, it made Spencer laugh. She couldn't help but giggle lightly, before covering her mouth with the palm of her hand.

"What's so funny?" Toby mocked, looking at her, his eyes narrowed sarcastically. "Nothing, nothing; you do know you can trim the trunk, right?" Spencer replied back.

Toby's mocking smile dropped, and he peered back at the tree. "Of course. Now I do." He stood up, and walked down the hall. "Toby! Where are you going?" She called after him, walking down the hall after him. "Getting the axe!"

Spencer stopped in her tracks. "Wait, you're not trimming that thing in here, right?" She asked, as he came back walking towards her in the hall, axe over his shoulder. "Of course not, I'm taking this stubborn tree outside." He replied, before placing the axe against the wall next to the tree. Spencer frowned. There was no way she was letting him carry that heavy tree out again.

"No, Tobes, just relax a few minutes." She replied.

Toby showed no sign of stopping though. Spencer walked over to him, touching his shoulder. He relaxed at her touch. "Alright, alright. But no heavy lifting for you." He replied, hugging her for a second. Spencer hated when people told her what not to do to be helpful. But she knew Toby was just trying to protect, even from stupid things like a tree.

"Okay." Spencer replied. Toby walked into the kitchen, and grabbed a bottle of water out of his fridge, snapping the lid off, and talking a long sip of the water. Spencer sat on the couch, taking another sip from her coffee mug. Toby sat next to her, staring at the tree. "Toby, guess what?"

"What?" He replied, smiling at her tone of voice. Spencer sat straighter up. It was December 23rd, just two more days till Christmas, but there was no way she was not giving him this "type" of gift now. "I have something for you." Spencer smiled, and Toby cocked his head. "Okay, let's see it." Toby relaxed his arms on the couch, stretching his one arm behind Spencer. She smiled, and got off the couch. "I'll be right back!"

She ran down the hall, to Toby's room, where her bag was. She entered the room, and spotted her brown leather bag. She walked over to it, picking it up, sitting on the bed, and placing it on her lap. She opened the bag, and pulled out one single ticket. It was to go to a Christmas Party tomorrow, it would be held in the middle of Rosewood, and Spencer had tickets to go on a sleigh ride. She thought it'd be, not romantic, but a good thing for them. She wanted to give it to him now, so she could relieve some stress off of him. She gladly grabbed it, and ran out back to her boyfriend waiting on the couch.

Spencer held it behind her back. She was shy, what if he thought it was childish? She blushed. She stuck her hand out, and Toby peered at the ticket, and took it gently from her hand. "A ticket?"

"Yeah, it's lame, but I thought tomorrow night, if you want we could go on this sleigh ride that happens every year…" Spencer was really embarrassed now. She was so lame. She felt herself shy away. Toby smiled. "Spencer, that's not lame at all. In fact, I think it'll be great." Toby replied. Spencer cocked her head. "Really?"

"Really, you're so smart Spencer. You come up with all these things I never even thought of, really, I can't wait." Toby stood up, and hugged her, and Spencer snuggled into his hug, and Toby kissed her forehead. "I love it, thanks Spence." Spencer smiled, being glad he didn't think it was lame. Toby sat back down on the couch, tucking the ticket under his wallet on the coffee table. "So, what do you want to do now? We could just stay here and relax, or go out tonight." Toby suggested. Spencer thought for a moment. She really just wanted to relax here with him, wishing she could always stay here.

"I'm really pretty tired actually. Do you think we could just relax?" Spencer asked. Toby nodded. "Sure thing; right after I handle this tree…" Toby shot up, and walked quickly over to the tree, and knocked it gently down on its side.

"Toby, I thought you were going to relax!" Spencer crossed her legs on the couch. "This tree is asking for it." He replied, grabbing the tree by the trunk, and beginning to drag it out. Spencer ran to the red door, and opened it for him. "I'll grab the axe." She replied, going for it. Toby seemed a little concerned. "Just be careful babe." He called over his shoulder, as he dragged the tree down the stairs to the parking area behind the Brew.

**_Babe? _**He did not just call her that! She felt herself blush. She was a little surprised, but it was a good feeling. Spencer felt her heart skip a beat. _God damn, _she _loved_ him so much.

She felt this sense of relief flow through her body. A sense of peace. She loved him so much, she loved him more than words could ever describe. Just thinking about him brought this new edge of joy to her heart. Every second spent with him was cherished, every kiss, would last forever. There was no other person in the whole world who could ever love as much as she loved him. It was just not possible, not in her mind. She always asked herself what to live for, what she had been living for. The answer was for this, for this, along with the girls, her sisters. Without her friends, she'd possibly never be happy again. Without Toby, she'd lose herself altogether. So, now, here with him as he was dragging an old elm tree, she stood in the doorway with the axe at her side, just admiring him.

"Spence, you got the axe?" Toby called over to her. He turned to see she was just staring at him, a slight smile on her lips. The snow that drifted around her made her silhouette glow with radiance, her hair pulled back into one simple braid on the side of her face, some strands of hair spewed around her face. She had this gentle look, this beautiful feeling. Toby understood why she was looking at him that way .He knew because he had done the same thing every time he saw her. He smiled at her, and Spencer's eyes locked with his. They shared a small moment, a connection. Snowflakes drifted across her hair, and one landed on the axe hilt.

"Um, yeah I'm coming." She called back, her eyes now looking down at the stairs before her, she slowly walked down the stairs, axe in both of her hands, and she brought it over to Toby. Toby gently took it from her hands. She took two steps back, as he shifted the axe behind his head, then slid it over his head, his hands sliding down with the motion, and slamming the trunk on the left side to even it with the right. The metal struck the wood, and he felt the tree shutter, and a piece flung off. Spencer crossed her arms against her chest, her breath coming out with small puffs from the cold air. "Spence, you don't have to freeze up out here, you can go inside if you want." Spencer shook her head, stubbornly. "No, I'm fine. I'm just watching."

Toby shrugged, not knowing what else to tell her, and he also knew to be smart, and know once Spencer made a decision, she wasn't going to give that decision up. She was a Hastings.

Toby continued axing the tree, until it had even sides, straight. He felt his arms grow sore from the repeating strokes of throwing the axe over his head, over and over again. Spencer had settled herself on the first step to the loft, still watching him. "Can I try?" Spencer asked. Toby smiled at her, her voice determined.

"Of course." Toby held the axe out to her. She stood up, and walked over to him, grabbing the axe between both of her small hands. She gripped it tightly.

"I think you got it." Toby said into her ear. Spencer smiled. "It runs in the family."  
Toby backed up, and Spencer swung the axe down, slamming the tree right on, a perfectly straight chunk of it flying to her left, and skidding into the snow. Spencer froze, and laughed. Toby was shocked, and Spencer saw his face. "Should I be scared…?" Toby joked. Spencer walked over to him, punching his shoulder, and laughing. Spencer set the axe down into the snow, and she leaned up to kiss him.

She pressed her lips, which were cold, to his. And slowly, she felt herself warm up at his touch. He pulled her closer. He tried to take a step back, but the ice made him lose his balance, and he felt his feet slip from beneath him, and he stumbled backwards. He could see Spencer fall too, and she yelped as he fell back, into a huge bed of snow. He felt his body sink into the snow, and Spencer landed on top of him. She was laughing, her breath a mythical shape of smoke. A shimmering light from the sun brought out her features, her hair swaying with the easy breeze. Her eyes stood out, they weren't just a brown color, but they were every color, so rare, so beautiful in his eyes. Toby couldn't feel the coldness of the snow; he could only feel the warmth of his heart for her.

Toby laughed too, he wrapped her in his arms, gently, kissing her forehead, before he quickly swung his body up, and flipping her under him. She screamed out, "Toby!" And he was over her. Her hair was out of the braid; her hair band gone. Her hair was a brilliant bright glowing brunette, and they landed under a huge tree. Toby sometimes couldn't believe that she was in his life. She was more than everything to him. She had her arms around his neck, gently stroking the hair on the back of his head. Spencer stared up at him, and Toby stayed above her, staring back down. "I love you." Toby confessed, his hands sinking in the snow on each side of Spencer's waist. Spencer blushed. "I love you too, Toby."

Toby stood up, and offered her his hands. She grabbed both of his hands, and he pulled her up. She flew upwards, back into Toby, and she smiled, before grabbing his hand. Toby gave her a mocking look. "What?"

She gave him a questioning look. Toby bent down to tie his laces, but he secretly grabbed a fistful of snow into his hands. Spencer didn't seem to notice. He stood back up, and he threw the snowball at her leg, and it smashed her leg, snow going all over her black jeans, and Spencer gasped. She gave him a death glare. "Cavanaugh! You're going to get it now!"

She ran behind the tree, grabbing a handful of snow. Toby leaned down, behind a bench. Spencer glared at him. Toby looked down to bundle up more snow, but he felt the smack of freezing snow on his head. He heard Spencer laugh, melodically. He shrugged, and pushed the snow off his head. Spencer hid back behind the tree. Toby had a snowball ready. She peeked back over to him, and he threw it, and it hit her chest. He purposely didn't throw it very hard, he was still her boyfriend. Spencer all the sudden got quiet and she seemed to lean against the tree. Toby felt a pit of guilt. Oh man. He screwed up… "Spence?" Maybe he offended her in a way, but he didn't think it would "hurt" her. She didn't reply. He quickly ran over to the tree, and saw her leaning against the tree, sitting on the ground. She had a distant look on her face, staring ahead of her.

"Spence? What's wrong?" He asked, leaning down in front of her. Spencer stood up, worry on her face. "Toby… I just… I want to tell you that…"  
And with that, she kicked the tree from behind her hard, and then said, "YOU LOST!"

With that, a huge pile of snow fell from the tree, and landed on top of Toby, and he was weighed down by the mountain of snow. He didn't fall, but he had a hat of snow on top of his head. Spencer was laughing so hard, she clenched her stomach. "Haha, you win." Toby joked, but he laughed too.

Spencer leaned over to him, and she wiped the snow from his head. Toby smiled at her. "I'm going to get you back!" Toby promised, laughing. "Oh, I'm sure you will be able to even catch me." Spencer replied back, kissing his cheek. "That was a good one, I'll admit." He admitted, as Spencer wiped snow from his forehead. "Thank you." Spencer took her hand away from his head, and then sighed.

"How about, we grab this stubborn tree, and go decorate it, okay?" Spencer asked.

Toby loved her so much. "I'd love to. But, I've got the tree." Toby replied, starting to walk over to the tree. He still had her hand, and Spencer got to the tree first. She grabbed the top of the tree, lifting it up. "No way Spence, I got it!" Spencer frowned, and then turned away. "You're underestimating my strength Cavanaugh." Toby sighed, and just walked to the other side of the tree, grabbing the trunk. "No, I do not doubt your strength; you're the strongest person I know." Toby replied. Spencer peeked over to him, smiling slightly, looking back down over to the tree. "I mean, I think my perspective has changed for you, after seeing you destroy that tree." He got a laugh out of her for that one.

"Okay, on three." Toby commanded. "One…two…three!" And they both lifted up the tree. But Toby barely had to. Spencer had a fierce look on her face and he could see the desperation and the focus in her eyes, as she lifted the tree over her shoulder, and heaved the tree by herself and started walking with Toby on the other side. He was shocked, well, not really. She was so strong. He smiled.

Toby went up the stairs first with the tree, and then Spencer followed after him. She didn't seem to be struggling at all.

They lifted the tree into his loft, and Toby's arms were still shaky, but Spencer seemed on top of the world. She seemed a lot happier after their little trip-and-then-have-a-snowball-fight session. Her hair was evenly parted on each side of her face now, and she pulled her cream colored coat off her shoulders, setting it inside the loft, on the couch in front of the TV. Toby took of his coat as well, setting it beside hers. Spencer helped Toby push the tree upright, and Toby nailed the tree back into the holder, and they both backed up, and they both felt worry that the tree would still be crooked. But, it wasn't. It stood perfectly straight. Spencer let out a breath of relief, and Toby smiled. "I think I should carve something into it." Toby exclaimed, and he walked over to it, leaning down, and pushing a few branches out of the way. He then took a pocket knife from the tool kit next to him, and began carving some letters into the tree.

"What are you writing?" Spencer asked. "For many more years." He replied. Spencer was confused. "What do you mean?" Spencer asked? Toby turned to face her. "Meaning, this tree is just the beginning of our first Christmas together, and this is the tree that begins this, so called, tradition." Toby explained. He was always so creative. Spencer smiled. "I love it."

Spencer went over to lean next to him, and looked at the small writing he perfectly carved into the tree. She looked over each curved line, knowing this was the start of something new. The start of their lives together. She leaned against him. Toby leaned close to her too.

"So, time to decorate?" Toby asked. Spencer smiled. "Let's begin."


	2. Chapter 2: Would It Ever End?

Okay, is it lame for her to have bought a bunch of Christmas tree decorations with Toby before this? Probably. But it made it even more special; it made it something only for them both. They had bought just random decorations, different shapes and sizes. Spencer had bought mainly the multi colored bulbs that hung on the tree, along with some crystal stars. Toby bought mainly different lights to go on the tree. He was plugging the lights in, and when he plugged them in, the lights glowed of blue, green, and red, yellow, and orange. He began to wrap the tree with these lights, each bulb bringing out each branch. Spencer had a huge box of decorations next to her, and Toby finished wrapping the lights around the tree. It was really starting to feel like Christmas.

"Okay, now let's get these ornaments onto this tree." Toby called over to her, and then he came out from behind the tree, and Spencer handed him a blue ornament. He placed the ornament gently on to the first branch, gently sliding the hook onto the branch. Spencer smiled, and she grabbed a crystal star out of the box of ornaments, and she walked next to Toby, placing the star slightly above his, to the right.

After that, they easily decorated the whole tree; it began to look heavier and heavier with the tradition. Soon, the tree was covered with lights and ornaments, and it looked complete. "Wait."  
Toby said, and he ran back over behind the tree, in his tool bag. "What?" Spencer asked. "Here," Toby replied, handing her something wooden.

She saw it was a hand crafted angel, and the angel seemed to have her characteristics. The same shaped face, same wavy hair, and he even added an indent where her freckle on her cheek was.

"Toby, why am I the angel?" Spencer asked, smiling.

"Cause, you're my angel." Toby blushed. "Ha, I know it's weird, we don't have to use it"—

But Spencer walked over to the tree, and reached up. "Help me get this on the tree." Spencer pouted, and turned around to see him. "Come on." She called over. Toby smiled, and he walked behind her, his hands sliding onto her hips, and he easily lifted her up with one swift movement. Once she was hoisted up, she gently pushed the hollow angel onto the tree, and pushed it to be straight. "Okay, done." Spencer said. Toby lowered her back down, and once Spencer was down, she kissed his cheek. "It's beautiful Toby. Thank you."

Toby smiled at her. "Anytime."  
They both stared at the tree, it showed their hard work. "It looks amazing." Toby breathed out, pressing Spencer against his side. When Spencer heard her phone ring in her coat pocket from the couch, she was kind of annoyed that her phone interrupted this moment. "Hold that thought." Spencer joked, rushing over to her phone, squeezing his hand. She slipped her hand in the coat pocket, her phone ringing. She looked at the caller ID, and it was Aria.

She picked up the call: "Hey Aria."

"Hey, Spencer, where are you? We've all been trying to contact you!" Aria's small voice called on the other side, she could hear Emily in the background. Spencer leaned against the couch.

"What's going on?" She asked. Aria sighed. "It's sort of important, Spencer. Can you, like, come over here?" Spencer sighed. "Right now?"

She looked over to Toby, who had a worried face. He mouthed, "What's wrong?"

Spencer shook her head gently. Toby walked over to her. He hugged her side, already trying to comfort her. "Aria, please, just tell me what's going on." Spencer complained.

She didn't want to learn any new news later. Aria seemed to be whispering something to Emily. "Yes, tell her!" She heard Emily call. Aria seemed to be shushing her. "Aria!" Spencer commanded. She heard Aria sigh. "It's sort of about… This Ice Ball thing… and I sort of don't know how to ask Ezra…" Aria literally then sounded so relieved. Spencer laughed gently.

Toby had already asked Spencer to the Ice Ball. She remembered his arrangement of flowers for her when she stopped by his loft. She could even still smell his cologne her worse that one day. The whole loft lit with faint candle lights… It all felt so real. She could even picture it right now if she really thought about it…

_"__Toby? What is all of this?" _

_Spencer set her coffee down on a table nearby and she stood there at the doorway. Toby was dressed in a black button up shirt, and he had a guitar around his neck. Spencer felt butterflies in her stomach. Candles were on all surfaces, a few on the coffee table, a few on the tables and countertops. He had a big arrangement of flowers on the dining table for her, and he had a red rose in his hand. "Just wanted to ask you something." He replied, and he walked closer to Spencer, and he gently gave her the flower, and Spencer took it calmly into her hand. _

_"__Ask me what?" Spencer stood there._

_"__Hold on, here, sit down." Toby lightly touched her back, and she went to sit down on the couch. _

_Toby sat next to her, and he began playing a few chords on his guitar. It was a sweet sound. Spencer felt tears well up in her eyes, as he began to lightly sing some of the notes. _

**_"_****_I've waited a hundred years, _**

**_I'd wait a million more for you._**

**_Nothing prepared me for, _**

**_What the privilege of being yours would do."_**

_Spencer was crying already, a smile growing on her face. She felt her heart skip a few beats, he was just staring at her, singing each word with such tenderness, such passion, and she was left speechless._

_He continued to sing…_

**_"_****_If I had only felt the warmth within your touch_**

**_If I had only seen how you smile when you blush_**

**_Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough_**

**_I want to know what I've been living for…_**

**_What I've been living for."_**

_Spencer pressed her hand against her chest, showing appreciation. He let out a few more phrases. _

**_"_****_You're love is my turning page, _**

**_Where only the sweetest words remain._**

**_Every kiss is a cursive line, _**

**_Every touch is a redefining phrase_**

**_I've surrendered who I've been _**

**_For who you are._**

******_For nothing makes me stronger than _**

**_You're fragile heart._**

**_If I had only felt how it feels to be yours_**

**_Well I would have know what I've been living for_**

**_What I've been living for._**

**_Though we're tethered to the story we must tell  
When I saw you, well I knew we'd tell it well  
With a whisper we will tame the vicious seas  
Like a feather bringing kingdoms to their knees."_**

_Spencer had tears flying, she brushed them away with her thumb. "Toby, oh my God, that was so beautiful." Spencer saw him smile. "My question is… will you go to the Ice Ball with me?"_

_He took his guitar off, and put it by the couch, looking at her with deep eyes._

_Spencer was surprised. All of this for an Ice Ball? Spencer felt like he had done way too much, she would've said yes easily. _

_"__Yes! Yes, Toby." She threw her arms around him, hugging him. "God, I love you so much." Spencer whispered. "I love you." Toby said, and kissed her forehead. His melody still ran through her head._

So now, Spencer had to talk to Aria about how she was going to do.

"Is that seriously what you're freaking out about?" Spencer asked.

Aria gulped on the other line. "Well, Spencer you and Toby are like already married, and if there's one person I know how to ask someone else out properly, it's you. You're sort of like a love therapist." Aria replied. Toby smirked. "Is that so Aria?" He called over Spencer's shoulder, into the phone. Spencer shushed him, pressing her palm against his lips.

Aria was laughing. "Of course you're with Toby!"

Spencer sighed, and gave Toby a warning look. "Yeah…" Spencer replied. She could imagine Aria smiling on the other line. "I think this is more of 'my' territory Spence." Toby told her, looking down on her. "What?" Spencer asked, smirking. Toby? Giving relationship tips? Haha, that made her laugh. Toby reached for the phone. She was fine with seeing how this went. She handed him the phone. Toby cleared his throat. "Hello?" He said into the phone.

It got silent, and she could tell Aria was talking. "An ice ball? Hmmm, I'm surprised Spencer didn't tell me about this." Toby looked over to her, winking. Spencer turned away, being stubborn. "Well, if you want to really impress him, wear some pretty necklace… and nothing else."

Spencer gasped. "Toby! Watch it!" She hissed, picking up a red pillow from the couch, and throwing it at him. It hit him in the shoulder. "Hey! I'm being honest!"

Spencer took the phone from him, pressing the phone back to her ear. "Sorry about that, he's totally kidding." Spencer said. Toby interrupted. "No I'm not; it's worked on me before with you." He laughed. Spencer groaned. Nice one, Toby.

Aria was laughing. "Haha, Spencer Hastings, I think I'd like more details."

Spencer frowned, and replied back with, "Good pep talk." And she hung up abruptly. She placed her phone on the coffee table, Toby sitting next to her on the couch. Spencer gave him a look.

"What?" He asked.

"You… I can't even handle you sometimes." Spencer said, turning away from him, crossing her arms. Toby seemed to relax, but he got serious. "Hey, I'm sorry. I'm just really happy."

Spencer believed him with that. She turned back to face him, feeling bad. "I'm sorry. I know you're happy." Spencer kissed his cheek, and she saw Toby's eyes brighten. She saw her phone still on, and it read that it was 9:08 PM. Spencer realized tomorrow was Saturday, and Christmas Eve. She already had Toby's real gift, but she was nervous as well. She shook away the thought, knowing that thinking about it would just make her more nervous. Toby moved closer to her, and Spencer cuddled into his chest. She breathed in his leather scent, and closed her eyes. Toby wrapped his strong arms around her, and the room smelled of pine and cinnamon. She felt safe in his arms, and she snuggled her hands together, on his chest. He was like her own teddy bear/protector. It was pretty great to have both. And a loving boyfriend.

Spencer stayed that way for a few minutes. It felt nice. She was sure she could just fall asleep there in his arms. But, she also didn't want to sleep due to her losing the feeling of his arms around her. And that she didn't want. She wanted nothing more than this. She would just stay here forever if she truly could. His fingers traced her shoulder, slowly stroking her muscles in her arm, leaving goose bumps on her skin. She felt butterflies dance in her stomach. No matter how much time she spent with him, she always had those butterflies follow her everywhere when she was with Toby. She couldn't help it, she loved him so much, and those feelings never got old. She never knew something like this was possible. A love like this.

Maybe it was when she saw his face when he opened the door for her at his house that one bright day she tutored him.

Or maybe it was when she played scrabble with him and he made her feel so much better when she felt lost.

Or maybe it was when he kissed her, slowly, passionately, and she'd never felt more alive.

Maybe even, it was when he confessed that he loved her after he had worked hard all day on Jason's yard.

Maybe it was when she and he first made love, and that moment would last forever.

It was maybe even the terrible heart break that she felt when she found out the truth about Toby.

Maybe it was when he told her he was only trying to protect her from this mystic bitch –A.

It was possibly when she spent hours at a time just spending time with him, when he fle tout of place with his mother's death.

It was possibly even when he helped her with her drug abuse, and how he did everything in his power to make her feel better, and to get better.

Maybe it was when he went on a date with her, and helped Hanna and Caleb when they were both lost.

Possibly… it was from right now as they cuddled near the Christmas tree. Or maybe it was everything.

"I love you." Spencer spoke truly, her voice sure. Toby breathed in. "I love you Spencer. More than life." She felt his lips lightly press to her forehead, and Spencer smiled. She leaned up, kissing him. He kissed back lightly, both closing their eyes. Spencer opened her eyes when she pulled away, but kissed him again, more deeper, more passionately. She could feel their breath's growing heavy. His hands went up her back, over her clothes, pulling her body closer into his. She felt her legs slip around his waist, as she straddled his hips. Toby then used one of his hands to stroke her face, and pull her neck gently into his kiss, and Spencer had her hands behind Toby's neck, kissing him each time less friendly, and now more powerful, even with the hint of dark lust. She felt her body relax with his touch, and she could feel his hand's roam up her back, this time on her bare skin on her back, over her bra straps. Spencer played with his shirt, but she felt hesitant. She was so tired, but… was she too tired for something like "this"?

She was sure Toby felt her hesitation, because he stopped. "We can stop." He added, and she felt herself sink more into him, more calmly now. Toby rested his hands on her hips, and she felt him relax too. "Sorry, I'm just really tired." Toby seemed to be confused. "Don't apologize for that Spence. It's fine." Toby confessed, stroking her hips slowly. Spencer smiled, and she flipped on leg over him, just to be leaning into him like before. "Thank you." She settles in next to him. He was staring at her; nothing unusual there.

"Have you talked to Caleb?" Spencer asked, thinking about the last time they had seen Caleb, who was cold and broken…

_"__I'm sure they're coming."_

Spencer had told Toby for a third time and she could tell he was a little bit uncomfortable. Toby was sitting at his seat, Spencer next to him. They were at the April Rose Grille, the most popular restaurant in Rosewood. Toby had his hands folded in his lap, his eyes looking around the room. He had on a gray shirt that was open at the neck line, and his jeans with leather black short-cut boots. Spencer was wearing a slim fit dress that was striped with orange, red, and some blues. She had her hair fluffed out and curly, with nice black heals that strapped across her feet. The sleeves on the dress came to an end at the end of her shoulders, keeping her slightly more professional. 

_They were there, not on a really formal date, but Hanna wanted them to help her with Caleb. Caleb had been very much off lately, and it had been worrying Hanna. Not only with his drinking problem, but with how he had been acting ever since he had gotten back from Ravenswood. They had the right to be worried about him, he was their friends too. Toby leaned over the table, a glass of water with lemon across from him. He had drunk any of the water yet, and Spencer had asked for strawberry lemonade. She took a sip of that. _

_"__So, what's the plan?" Toby asked, looking over to her. Spencer set her drink down. "What plan?" _

_Toby pushed his hands out on the table. "With Caleb. I'm sure if we bring up his… situation… he's going to want to take off." Spencer took that into consideration, but she didn't want to give up on him, for Hanna's sake. Plus; she really did like Caleb. He brought out the best in Hanna when no one else could. She had seen it when Hanna had looked at Caleb, and the way he smiled when he talked about her. They were unlike any other couple. Spencer was glad to come and try to help Caleb and she was glad Toby had come too. Toby and Caleb had this brotherly relationship that even Spencer didn't completely understand now. But, if it was going to help him, then it was worth it. _

_Spencer checked her clock. It was 6:23. They had chosen to meet at six, where the hell was Hanna and Caleb? Spencer crossed her legs impatiently. Toby noticed. "We can still order, if you want." He suggested, giving Spencer a caring look. "I'm fine, just hope this goes well." _

_She heard the bell on the door ring, and Spencer squinted her eyes over to the sound of heels on wood pavement. She saw the recognizable face of her best friend, Hanna Marin. She was wearing a torn up black dress, heels, and her makeup was dark. Her hair was let loose, black strands at the bottom. Caleb came trailing behind her, and Spencer stood up first, then Toby, as he came over. "Hey." Hanna said in a friendly tone towards Spencer and Hanna opened her arms for Spencer to hug her. Spencer hugged her friend back, Hanna smelt of a strong mixture of perfume and lotion. "Hey Han." _

_Toby threw his hand over to Caleb, and Caleb shook hands with Toby. Toby gave him a genuine smile, brother like, like Spencer had thought it would be. Caleb was dressed in a plaid shirt with a striped black and white one underneath, dark jeans. His hair was slicked to the side, some of his dark hair hanging in his face. Spencer still felt that he was, in a way, haunted. _

_"__So, whose idea was this?" Caleb asked sarcastically, his voice strained. Toby looked at Spencer. "Ummm, it was my idea." Hanna spoke up. "I just wanted us to hang out, if that's okay Caleb." Hanna seemed to be giving Caleb a look, almost like a warning. Caleb just nodded. _

_"__Okay." Hanna sat across from Spencer and Caleb sat across from Toby. _

_The dead silence grew among the group of young couples, and Spencer turned to see Toby, who had a strange look in their eyes, almost curious. Caleb seemed to be staring down at the menu, but at the same time, he seemed in deep thought. Toby spoke up. "Caleb, how have you been?"_

_Caleb raised his head, his dark eyes looking at Toby. "I'm fine." He replied back blankly. He looked back down. _

_Hanna rolled her eyes, and Spencer's hands folded in her lap. Toby tensed up when he saw Spencer looked down at her hands in her lap, and she felt her heart sink a little. She felt bad for Caleb, he was so different. She remembered when Caleb and she had hung out that one day in her living room; he was so bright, happy… now… now he was someone else. Toby seemed to toughen up in a way, almost mad. "Caleb, we want to help you, but you have to give us something." Hanna looked at Toby almost shocked. Spencer was a little too. Caleb looked irritated. _

_"__So this was the reason for this little get together. I think I would rather have take out than me being questioned." He stood up; throwing his napkin on the table, but Hanna grabbed his wrist. "Caleb! Sit down." She gave him a fierce look, and Caleb closed his eyes. He sat back down, crossing his arms, and staring at each one of them. Toby kept his eyes glued to him. "I am fine. Really."_

_"__Then what's with the drinking, Caleb?" Spencer spoke up, looking at his dark eyes. Caleb looked darkly at her. "That's my problem, my business."_

Toby spoke after, getting Caleb's glare off of her. "Yeah, well, believe it or not Caleb, we are your friends. We care about you." Toby placed his hands on the table, folding his hands. Caleb seemed to relax a little, almost like he looked like he was sad, but then his eyes narrowed again. It was a look that was gone as soon as it appeared. "I'll be right back." Caleb confessed, and he stood up, walking outside. Hanna sighed. She looked mad then. 

_"__Thanks for jumping right into the conversation you two." She said, irritated. _

_"__Hanna! We are just trying to help, you know, like you asked." Spencer replied, protecting Toby from Hanna's little threat. "Did he tell you anything about Ravenswood?" Toby asked. Hanna looked away. "Maybe, but, it doesn't matter now."_

Spencer narrowed her eyes. "Doesn't matter? Hanna, you want us to help you and Caleb, you have to let us in on this. Now." 

_Hanna seemed to be thinking. "He told me… He told me that… after Miranda died… her ghost was there. He said Miranda was trying to get to her family, and that he had to help her. HE said that… that he was a part of some pact. I don't know, it sounds"—_

_"__Insane!" Spencer interrupted. She was pissed! What kind of messed up lie was that? Hanna seemed saddened. "And you believe him?" Spencer asked. Hanna shrugged. "I don't know what to believe anymore."_

_Toby seemed to be thinking, his eyes looking down. "It sounds crazy… But what if it's true?" Toby confessed. Spencer looked at him. "What?" Spencer was losing her mind. _

_"__Why would he make that up?" Toby asked, turning towards Spencer. Spencer shook her head. "I don't know… But, come on, that's"—_

_"__The truth."_

_Caleb was standing behind Hanna, as he walked up. "It is the truth. Call me crazy, or whatever you want, but that's the truth. I swear it on my damn life."_

_Spencer shut her mouth, as Caleb sat back down. He seemed more loose, but still tense. "Caleb… It's really true?" Toby asked. Caleb nodded. "Yes. When Hanna came to visit me, I was still seeing Miranda… She was trying to help me. But, Hanna left and… things got worse."_

_Spencer and the rest of them remained quiet. "Worse how?" Hanna asked. She clearly was new on this too. "A pact, long time ago, was made between me, and four others… Me, Miranda, and three others. We all were, somehow, connected. We were…we were all supposed to die. In a car wreck, all of us. But, only Miranda did die. After that, there were continuous things happening that were trying to…fulfill… our pact. Soon, we had a defense, to set free Miranda, and to defeat a power that was against us. We found out that by breaking the pattern, we could survive."_

_Spencer reached for Toby's hand, and he took her hand, squeezing it. Both of their eyes were on Caleb, Hanna too. "We broke the connection. After that… we all sort of… drifted. I came back to Rosewood, and now, well, I'm here. There's my story."_

_He took a drink of water. He seemed disgusted. Spencer couldn't talk. Hanna was the first one to talk. "Why didn't you tell me before tonight?" _

_Caleb just looked away, "Cause I'd sound crazy. I probably still do now." Toby seemed to think a thought, and then he turned to Spencer and Hanna. "Can you two… give us a minute?"_

_Spencer nodded, and Toby squeezed her hand again. "You okay?" He asked, his eyes concerned. _

_"__Yeah… yeah." Spencer got up, and she let his hand go. _

_Hanna got up too, and Spencer and her walked over to the bar stools at the bar, the TV above them. They were both stricken by Caleb's story._

She was still that day.

Toby then, looked at Spencer. "I haven't talked to him since the dinner. I asked him a lot of questions. I don't think he made that up, Spence. I don't understand why he would. Maybe it was all true."

Spencer snuggled closer to Toby. "Then demons are real." She thought. She never thought she could accept that as a fact. But with –A in her life, it wasn't so hard to believe in such things. Toby held her closer. "Hey… It's going to be okay. I swear to you. Nothing is ever going to happen to you. I wouldn't let anything happen."

Spencer nodded, and she felt a chill go through her. She felt herself squirm inside from fear. Cause if demons and ghosts are real… What if –A was truly just another ghost, another demon? Then it would never end. Hell, -A could just be the devil in disguise.

But the way Toby was holding her, she felt something. Something small, yet powerful. It was this small bit of hope. Maybe, if they all just stuck together, they could uncover this demon. And, maybe, just maybe, this would all end.

And maybe it would start with the Ice Ball.


	3. Chapter 3: Mornings Like These

It had been a few quiet minutes for them both after the small discussion they had about Caleb, let alone the demons and ghosts that came along with the conversation. Spencer knew that bringing this all up now probably wasn't good for her, or Toby, but she could never just ignore these small things, especially since all of this was getting out of hand.

Spencer slowly stretched in his arms, her bones stiff from lying in his arms after some time. Toby stirred awake, they had both dazed off with sleep from the long day they had had setting up the tree and the small snowball fight encounter. She felt Toby's arm slowly release her, but she felt the small pang of disappointment to his action. Her body was still lying on top of his, and she thought he was letting her go to get off him, but then she felt him slightly lift her up for a seconds, and she relieved he was just repositioning his body so she could be cradled in his arms.

She blushed slightly, resting her head against his muscular chest.

She stared in front of her, the window before her. The snow drifted slowly outside, each flake a small sparkle in the growing darkness of the night. It was almost Christmas Eve. Tomorrow would be the Ice Ball dance, and the small sleigh ride she planned for her and Toby. She was trying hard to be excited for this, to live just normally, even for a few hours. But she always would have this ping of fear deep inside her, knowing somewhere; someone was watching her and the rest of the girls. Planning, plotting, and acting. Their demon.

Sure, she knew this wasn't the end. She knew a month from that day wouldn't change anything. A month from then, when the game changed. But she didn't want to think about those things, let alone the death that came with it. It was too much for her.

Another snowflake drifted past the window, landing on the glass. It began to melt away, the white flake turning to clear vapor. Spencer felt a chill run through the loft; it never had really strong air conditioning. Toby surly must've felt it too, because he reached behind his head, and grabbed the blue blanket that was always on the back of the couch. He gently threw the blanket over Spencer, her feet and body covered, her arm across his chest. She felt her body warm up, combined with his body heat, and the warmth being held by the blanket. Spencer felt heaviness grow in her eyelids, and she felt sleep conquer her body, before she let her eyes shut, and darkness followed.

_She was cold. Snow ruptured violently around her, the ground surrounded by white floor. She couldn't see past the howling cold winds, shoving her left and right. She tried to stand, but the wind pushed her back to her feet. She didn't understand what was going on, or why. She only thought of one name to call out to. "Toby!"_

Her voice rang out, but was sucked away with the wind. "Toby, where are you?!"  
Again, her voice just grew smaller, the cold air stinging her throat, and shutting her quiet. She peered her eyes around, looking for anything that could show her a way out of the storm. But there was only an endless storm that was surrounding her, and she felt her knees wobble and grow weak. "Spencer!"

_She heard his voice, husky, strong, but faint. But she knew it was there. She knew he was there. She got up, pressing herself forward, feet heavy from the weight of snow. She felt her limbs growing heavier and heavier, but she had to keep trying. She had to keep trying, for him. There was no way she was giving up now, not after everything they had been through. Not after how much she loved him. _

_"__Toby!" She called out his name, stronger this time. She heard the winds calling out, "Spencer! I'm here, I'm here!"_

_Closer, his voice was closer. She knew it, it was like she could feel his warmth in front of her. She kept walking, the winds howling in rage around her, blowing her forward, then back, left then right. But that wasn't going to stop her from getting to Toby. _

_Suddenly, she felt the heat leave her cheeks. A dark figure, tall, larger than life, was standing in front of her. It seemed like a shadow, its silhouette blurry at the edges. Spencer felt her stomach turn. The figure, the shadow… -A_

_She tried to turn away, to run from the figure. But she heard his voice again. "Spencer!"_

_He was to her left. He was lying in the snow, flakes that were falling landed gently next to him. He seemed to be leaning over, his hands on his knees. He had his head down. "Spencer…"  
He sounded all the sudden, weak, small. His eyes were glued to his stomach. He wouldn't look at her, even acknowledge that she was there._

_"__Toby, come on!" She called, the dark figure taking an easy step towards her. She ran over to Toby, and leaned next to him. "Toby?"_

_The distinct smell of metal and blood rose from the area around him. He lifted his head up, and she saw blood slowly draining from his neck. "Spencer?"_

_She felt her whole world crumble down, as the dark figure had a bloody knife in their hand. Spencer screamed louder than those of the howling winds and the dark figure daggered the knife sharply into Spencer's broken heart. _

She felt herself being shaken awake by her shoulders. She was crying. She opened her eyes, light flooding into her eyes. In front of her, was Toby. He was hovering above her, before he lifted her up gently, bringing her into his arms. She twisted her fingers into his shirt, crying, small tears travelling down her cheeks. "Spence? Spence, it was just a dream, it was just a dream."

He was still holding her, but he must've moved her throughout the night to his bed. She was in his arms, and the sheets were flung to and thro, probably through her nightmare. She looked up at his blue eyes, furrowed up in worry. He must've taken a shower the previous night, cause he was in a white shirt with his blue long pajama pants on. She reached out and hugged him, bringing her head into his neck, her arms under his, holding him close. He hugged her back.

"It's so terrible… It was so real.."

Toby just rubbed her back, holding her in his arms. "It's okay, it's okay…"  
His hands roamed up and down her back, comforting her, but she kept weeping quietly. She still remembered the scent of blood, and she swore her voice hurt from screaming so hard in that snow storm. It felt so real, and it was even worse that it 'could've' been real. In a sense, she never knew what –A was up to, and never would.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Toby asked, resting his hands on her back, his fingers pressed into her slightly, to keep her close. Spencer sniffed, but shook her head. "Was it about –A?"

Spencer nodded. She felt Toby tense up, but then he breathed out and leaned back against the wall of pillows behind him, Spencer still in his arms.

He hated the affect this had on her. He just wanted her to be safe and happy. But with all that was going on, he knew he had to accept the fact that –A was out there. Even if he could hold her like this, and tell her that it was going to be okay, he didn't want to put these kinds of beliefs into her head. As much as he wanted her to be okay, he never could fully have control over what was going to happen in her life. But he knew one thing for sure, and that was that he was going to be there for her through it all, highs and lows. He knew he would never let her get hurt, because he knew he'd never leave her side. He was going to protect her, she came first. Her happiness, her well being, and he guessed that was one reason why he was glad she chose to stay with him. Sure, her luggage was still in the hallway, and sure, she was still going to school and facing these challenges, but he wasn't going to let her go through this alone.

"Spencer. I want you to know that I'm right here. I want you to know, you never are going to be alone, or unloved, or forgotten. I'm right here, sweetheart, and I'm never leaving your side."

Spencer seemed to relax to his words. She breathed in, then out. Her fingers loosened their grip on his shirt, and now she just silently breathed as he held her. It was Christmas Eve, and he knew he wasn't going to let her spend it being scared and worried.

"How about, you can go take a shower, relax, and I'll get breakfast started, okay?" He looked down at her, and she looked up at him with her beautiful wide brown eyes. Her hair was loosely curled, some strands almost completely straight. He'd never get tired of looking at her.

"Okay." She replied back.

He slowly loosened his hold on her, and she stretched, and got out of the bed, walking towards the bathroom. Her hair dropped behind her shoulders, the wood floorboard beneath her feet click clacking as she walked across it, her heels hitting the floor with even steps.

She grabbed a white towel from the towel rack, and she closed the door behind her. He stayed in bed for a moment. He was thinking. Mainly about random things, small things. He stared at the bathroom door. God, he really never did spend a second not thinking about her. He adored her in every way possible, accepted her for who she was. He smiled. He probably seemed like a big idiot, smiling just from thinking about her. But, he didn't really care. He got off the bed, stretching his arms, before heading towards the kitchen to cook (or at least attempt to cook) breakfast.

Spencer turned the water on, her hand staying under the fountain of cold vapor. She kept her hand under the water until her skin prickled from the warmth. She threw her shirt off, then her jeans, which were slightly cold from snow form yesterday, and then her panties and bra. She stopped as she looked in the mirror. Some mascara was stained on her cheeks, and she harshly took toilet paper, and tried rubbing it away, but, there was no luck. Her eyes were slightly red from crying, and she looked down at her neck, then her stomach. She didn't really know what she was looking for. She then noticed a small chain around her neck, and she reached behind her neck to pull her necklace forward. It was a gold necklace, her favorite of all time. It was the one Toby made for her, the one that had her initial "S" with the shape of a scrabble piece. She never wanted to take it off, just looking at it made her feel safe.

She unclipped it, and put gently next to the sink, and then she took her fingers, dragging them through her hair, some strands tangled. She gave up on that, and went to the shower, and opened the curtain, and stepped inside. She let the warm water fall over her, the heat pressing through her hair, rolling off her skin, down the drain. She just stood there a few seconds, and then she shampooed her hair, and then conditioner, along with her usual shower routines.

After she finished, she turned the water off, and slid out, taking the white towel, and trying to dry her hair with it, then wrapping her body around it. Her hair was bouncy in ocean waves, but she didn't mind Toby seeing her like this. She was pretty sure, at least. Spencer then opened the door, walking out the fresh scent of bacon and eggs. She almost remembered all of her clothes and things were still in suitcases. She didn't feel like digging through her luggage right now. Instead, she walked over to Toby's closet, sliding the door open, and she pulled a gray shirt out, and then a pair of his blue boxers that was freshly folded in a drawer. She went back to the bathroom, and she slid the boxers on over her legs, and then pulled his shirt onto her. She looked in the mirror, and she actually considered this her best look. The clothes even 'smelled' like him. She felt her body relax, and she walked out of the bathroom, out of Toby's room, and into the kitchen.

Toby was standing above the burner, two pans on, one with bacon, one with eggs. He heard Spencer walk by, and he turned around. "Feeling better?" He asked, before noticing his clothes on his girlfriend. "Yeah, I do." She replied, sitting at the table, running her hand through her hair. He felt dazed from her rare look, she was just so damn beautiful.

"I think that's your best look Spence." Toby said, turning back around, smiling to himself. He wished he looked as good as Spencer did in his clothes. "Thank you." Spencer said from behind him. He heard her small yawn, and he turned around for a few seconds, spatula in hand.

She was staring outside her eyes watching the snow fall like a movie. Her legs were pulled up on the chair, her hair pulled over her shoulders, hands coiled around her knees to keep them in place. She seemed deep in thought. Toby couldn't take his eyes off her, his heart melting for her. She was his one and only.

A burning smell from the bacon rose, and Toby quickly scrapped the bacon with the spatula and flipped them over, hoping Spencer didn't notice his clumsy move. Right when he thought he was safe, he heard her small giggle. "Be careful, Tobes."

Toby nodded, adding sarcastically, "Yeah, yeah."

She giggled again, and he swore it was music to his ears. He felt a growing smile grow on his face. The bacon and eggs were done, so he flipped them both onto a plate, three slices of bacon for her, eggs, and then three slices of bacon for him and eggs. He walked to the side of the burner, pulling forks from the slide out drawer, and then he brought the food over to the table, setting the plate in front of Spencer. She smiled, and she placed her legs back down, pushing her chair closer to the table. Toby sat next to her, on the side on the left from her.

She picked up her fork, picking it up gently, and then she cut her eggs, placing it in her mouth silently, and Toby felt still, hoping she didn't gag on his cooking skills. But she smiled as she swallowed. "Toby, it's really good! I didn't know you could cook so well."

Toby was surprised, "Really?"

Spencer nodded, and she reached over the table, and grabbed his hand into her small soft one. "Yeah, thank you." She gave him a small smile, and then let his hand go. He smiled back and her, and they both ate in silence. He still had his eyes on her the whole time.

After they both finished eating, there was a long day ahead of them. A meet up with the girls and the guys, the Ice Ball, and the sleigh ride. Spencer was happy Toby had made them breakfast, it was a nice little thing to add to the day. Her hair wasn't wet anymore, so she decided she should start getting ready. Toby chose to wait for her to finish, and he said he was going to get some sketching done for some new buildings that were going to be built around the April Rose Grille.

Spencer was busying herself in the bathroom, brushing her hair, some small knots there, but not a lot. She then started applying some concealer and mascara, small amount, but enough. She then chose to curl the bottom ends of her hair, and pull half of it back with a small hair tie. She did that, only burning her finger slightly once. A few strands of her hair fell forward, but she liked it like that. Next, she put in pearl earrings, which were slightly hidden behind her brunette hair.

She slid on a navy blue blouse, and jeans. She lightly placed Toby's signature necklace around her neck, gently touching the gold surface of her initial. She took on last look at herself in the mirror, no hair out of place, not that she really did care. She opened the bathroom door, seeing it had been around thirty minutes. Toby was already dressed too. He had on a black t-shirt, dark jeans, and he was wearing these brown combat boots.

Spencer couldn't help but smile as her boyfriend struggled to untie his shoe laces, his fingers far too large and manly in a way to loosen them. Spencer leaned down in front of him, and she laughed. "Here, let me help."

She easily peeled away the laces with her nails, which were painted a light blush pink, and she untied the laces before double knotting them at the top. Toby smiled. "There really isn't anything can't do."

Spencer laughed. "Well, Toby, if you can't untie your own shoes, than I am very concerned."  
He looked down, smiling, and Spencer leaned up to stand, pressing a light kiss to his cheek. Toby stood up too, and Spencer saw their reflections in a mirror. They even 'looked' perfect together. With the way she was looking at him, and the way he was looking at her.

"Ready to go?" He asked, heading towards the door, breaking her thought. She nodded, "Yeah."

Spencer grabbed her cell phone, and dropped it into a small leather bag, and threw it around her shoulder. Toby and she walked across the room, to the door. He grabbed Spencer a black coat from a rack, and then his brown one with a light colored color that he wore previous times. Spencer smiled as he slid the coat around her shoulders, and she pressed her arms through the arm slots, feeling instant warmth. They were heading out to meet with Hanna and Caleb, along with Emily, Alison, Ezra, and Aria if they could make it. They chose to have a big hangout that day, consisting of lunch, a Christmas meet up at the Field's house, putting out decorations and such, and then they'd have dinner and the Ice Ball. And then… she and Toby would have each other.

Toby led them outside, it was chilly out, and Spencer got outside as Toby closed the red door gently behind her, pressing a small gray key in the slot of the door, and locking it, turning the key quickly to the right. Spencer shivered. They both rushed down the stairs to Toby's truck. Spencer slid inside the car, and Toby slid in next to her, instantly turning the AC on. The news came on as the truck sputtered to life.  
"We are expecting some easy winds up to ten miles an hour, with an average temperature of around 35 today! But, by daytime it may be around 45 to 50 degrees! Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas Eve, this is Jill Sarrow!"

Toby shut it off, and some music by Andrew Belle played instead, she recognized some of the lines from the song, "Daylight" Toby started up the truck, and began driving to the April Rose Grille. Some flakes of snow hit the truck's window shield, but the window wipers easily wiped them away. "You're okay, right?" Toby suddenly asked. Spencer looked at him, confused. "What do you mean?"

Toby closed his mouth, breathing out, then opened his mouth. "I was so worried when you woke up screaming and crying… I just want to make sure you're okay." He looked at her, and Spencer touched his hand that was resting next to her. "I'm fine Toby. Thank you."

Toby nodded, and Spencer let his hand go, but she continued looking at him. He was looking at the road now. She could tell he was still a little worried. "Come on, Tobes! It's Christmas Eve, and you're spending it with me. Be happy." Spencer tried, leaning over to him, leaning slightly against his shoulder, and she caught him smile. "Spencer Hastings, thank God I have you in my life."


	4. Chapter 4: The Ice Ball

**(This takes place after a day with the girls and their bed buddies ;) Just go with it haha this is gonna be good!)**

Searching and wandering eyes for only each other; sweaty palms, shaking thighs. These are the feelings they each felt. These are the feelings Spencer felt, and Toby felt. With her dress skin tight, she felt butterflies flutter in her stomach, threatening to make her pass out. She knew they had danced before, and she knew this dance certainly would not be their last. In fact, this was probably just nothing. But to her, it felt like everything. Her friends had already found their dates, Aria found Ezra in a black suit, Caleb in a gray, and Emily went to dance with Paige, who wore a long gray/white dress that hung loose over her hips. Spencer stood alone for a few seconds after Emily found Paige. Sure, it had only been seconds, but with the loud music pounding in her ears, and the vibration of the party going straight to her already shaking knees, she felt like it had been years of her standing alone.

But then, from the corner of her eye, she caught _him.  
_  
There, standing under the shimmering white lights from above, where snow stuck to the cold brick walls. There he was, smiling a goofy smile, his clear blue eyes defying the envious stars that could shine so bright. Spencer felt her heart flutter, and she could feel her cheeks grow hot, blushing. His smile grew after she caught his eye, and he looked down, and she could tell he laughed quietly.

He began to slowly walk over to the stairs, where she stood on the top of the staircase, shaking violently in her silver heels. Toby wore a simple white tux, with a light solver tie, to match with Spencer's dress. It fit him well; he seemed like a modernized gentleman. Spencer's smile grew as he got closer to her. She began to walk down the stairs when he stopped below her. She looked down as she walked down the stairs, making sure not to fall. She was on the last step, until she felt Toby kiss her cheek gently. "You're so beautiful."

Spencer felt her palms grow hot, her cheeks certainly blushing hot red now. "All for you."

Toby smiled, and he bowed, making Spencer laugh gently. He grabbed her hand with one of his as he stood back up, and he gently planted a kiss to the top of her hand. "Spencer Hastings, may I please have this dance?"

His eyes searched hers, the dancing lights from a huge chandelier glistering off the side of Toby's face, bringing out a gentle look. Spencer felt flustered, nervous, even a little like throwing up, but, as soon as his eyes reached hers as he asked that question, she felt like the world drained away, all the loud music, other gazing eyes, all gone. It was just him and her. "Yes."

As soon as she replied back, the music changed. It slowed down, and she recognized the song immediately. "No way." Spencer gasped, as she took a step next to Toby. Toby allowed Spencer to slide her arm through his, so he could lead her towards the center of the dance. He smiled down at her, looking at her, asking, "What?"

Spencer smiled. "Iris, it's the song that's playing." Toby laughed, kissing her forehead. "Well, if you know the rhythm so well, you'll have to lead me through, because I have two left feet." Toby joked.

Spencer looked at him as they walked. "Seriously?" Spencer smiled at her poor boyfriend. Toby hugged her side. "Don't worry, I won't let you fall. Not ever." His reply made her calm down a little, and he finally reached his arm around her waist as they reached the dance floor, the rhythm of the music more intense, guitars and violins. With Toby's arm around her waist, she felt a chill go up her spine, not from fear, but from excitement. She breathed out, as Toby took her hand in his, her hand grasping on to his for dear life. Toby took a step to the left, and Spencer followed. They took a step back, and then the music guided them both. Toby never took his eyes off his beautiful girlfriend. Spencer had her eyes set on his, and they both smiled gently at each other, moving with the music softly. Spencer began to grow more and more comfortable, she even began to lip sing the music playing as Toby watched her with passionate eyes.

**_"_****_And I don't want the world to see me,_**

**_Cause I don't think that they'd understand_**

**_When everything's made to be broken_**

**_I just want you to know who I am."_**

She caught Toby looking and she looked down shyly. Toby saw, and he touched her chin gently, leaning her head up to look into his eyes. A pause in the world, a break, as Toby's eyes lingered in hers, and she could feel his breath on hers. Then, he gently leaned down, kissing her lips gently, his arms going slowly behind her back. Spencer leaned in, her arms going around his neck.

**_"_****_I just want you to know who I am…_**

**_I just want you to know who I am…_**

**_I just want you to know who I am."_**

Slow movements, beating hearts, lips together. She couldn't have asked for anything more from that night. She slowly let herself sink into him, losing track of time, track of the rhythm of the music, she could only concentrate on the feeling of their hearts beating as one. She finally parted, because she felt heat intensify, between them, and from curious glances from her friends, who were certainly giggling amongst themselves. Toby glanced over at Emily, and Emily winked at him. Toby smiled in return, before turning back to his girlfriend. Spencer continued to dance with him, until she caught eyes with familiar blue ones. Cold eyes, daggering her soul. Alison.

Spencer froze while they were dancing. Toby frowned, and slowly grazed her back with his fingertips. "What is it?" Spencer kept her eyes on the dark Alison Dilaurentis, her dress tight and a very dark silver, thick straps on her shoulders, her face light, but her eyes far too dark. A group of girls stood behind her, all wearing masks, each dress different, going from blue, to green, to some black. Her army. The army Spencer feared would show up that night. And there it was.

Toby followed her gaze, and his eyes furrowed at the sight of Alison. He was pissed.

Spencer touched his chest with her hand, and shook off the thoughts. "Let's just forget about her, it's fine"—

But as Spencer was talking, she heard a cold voice over the music call, "Spencer!"

_Shit. _Spencer thought. Spencer felt Toby's arms tighten around her waist, his eyes looking towards Alison, but Spencer kept her eyes on Toby's face, not wanting to let go of her hold on him, tightly bond fingers around his neck. She breathed slowly, but she felt her pulse rise as she heard high heels cat walking closer and closer to them both. Suddenly, the heels stopped, and Toby had a full on menacing look.

"Eh hem?!" Alison cleared her throat, a bitchy tone Spencer always hated. Toby tightened his grip around Spencer's waist, but Spencer whispered to him, "It's alright." But Toby was determined to show the bitch to leave her alone. Her alpha male boyfriend indeed.

Toby let Spencer go, but not so Spencer could talk to Alison. So he could tell her off, like. This.

"What do you want, Alison?" Toby asked, crossing his arms, and standing in front of Spencer, and facing Alison. Alison cocked her head, and she crossed her arms as well. "Is it not my right to talk to my friend?" Her tone showed sass, and Toby was getting agitated.

"Oh, according to you, a friend? Alison, I don't know if you've been paying attention lately, but last time I checked, you were the one framing Spencer for murder." Toby hissed down at Alison, and Alison looked scared for a second, but that look was gone as soon as it appeared.

"You think I framed Spencer? Get a grip Toby." Alison hissed, her eyes daggers. Toby laughed, and leaned over her, much taller. "I can tell you're lying, your lips are moving." Alison gasped at him, and rolled her eyes. "You think you're so much smarter than me Toby Cavanaugh. But I have played you like a fool before. Do you not remember? Or should I remind you of your little secret?" Toby was breathing fire by now, and his fists clenched. Spencer was angrier though.

She pushed out from behind Toby, and she stepped right in front of Alison, Spencer felt heat rush through her veins, adrenaline. "Back off Alison. You're no friend of mine, never was then, never was now. You come over her again and I swear to god"—

"Swear you'll do what? Kill me? Haha, sorry Spencer, but the police already believe you killed someone, remember? Or did that also slip past your mind like back in the old days? You know, form your special little pills?!"

Spencer snapped, and she couldn't help but do this. She hissed out, "I know you killed Bethany you bitch!" And she slapped Alison hard across the face, and then suddenly, as she did feel the impact of her hand on her cold face, all the lights went out. Just like that.

The music stopped playing and Spencer felt her bones go cold as an evil song played.

**_"_****_You better get up out the way_**

**_Tomorrow there's a fight so we'll fight today, _**

**_You know, I don't give a shit about what you say_**

**_Cause we're gonna all die anyways!"_**

Spencer stood in the dark, and she heard the uprising of scared teens. "Toby?!" Spencer called out, but there was nothing. Suddenly, she saw a speck of blonde hair go into a dark tunnel. It was Alison. Spencer didn't hesitate to follow. She came to a snow entrance, the sign read,

**"****Ice Maze" **Spencer rolled her eyes, and followed after Alison. There were tunnels of cold brick and snow was everywhere, and she could only see every foot in front of her.

"Alison?!" Spencer yelled out. She heard a light cold air of laughter, and Spencer turned to her right where it came from. There was tunnel going to the right, and Spencer followed it. Another dark tunnel came, and Spencer stopped, feeling the air grow still. Her breathing came uneasily as the laughter seemed to come from all around her. Suddenly, a huge slab of rock fell down from the entrance she just came from, and she was looked in a small room of cold snow. Spencer saw her breath come from her mouth, and she felt her heart beating out of her chest. She felt like she was losing her mind. She was growing dizzy, and it was easily around 35 degrees in the room.

"Someone help me!" She screamed, but her voice was already dried out. She fell to the ground, the air growing thicker and thicker. She looked up, and saw the chandelier above her head. Maybe someone could hear her. "Help! Please!" Spencer cried out. But the loud blast of metal music was still playing. She felt sick, her stomach churned, and Spencer leaned over, and threw up all over the frozen ground. This caused her to cry harder. She was surely having a panic attack. The walls seemed to be getting closer and closer around her. Suddenly, the huge slab of rock from in front of her grunted, and she heard groans of people behind it. "I'm in here!" Spencer weakly called. Snow started falling on her forehead. The slab of rock rolled to the side, and she saw a dark haired person run inside, and grab Spencer's hand. "Spence?! Oh my God, you're freezing! Come on, it's just me, come on Spencer." It was Emily. Spencer slowly got up, her nose cold. Emily led her out, the lights still out.

Spencer could hear Emily's heels on the cold ground, as she led Spencer out. But then, Spencer felt a sickening urge again, and stopped. Emily turned back towards her, and leaned over next to Spencer. "Spencer?" Spencer was about to reply, but she threw up again, hardly missing her shoes. Emily's eyes grew sad. "Spencer, what's wrong?" Spencer started to cry again, a few small snow flacks landing on her hands which held her up as she was crouched over in the snow.

"I… don't know." Spencer answered honestly. Emily grabbed her hand again, and pulled her up. "Come on, Toby's probably worried sick. You need to get some heat in your body, I'll go grab you hot chocolate from the stands." Emily and her finally reached outside of the maze, and the lights came back on, the music stopped playing, and everyone stared in confusion at each other.

Aria and Hanna spotted Spencer and Emily from across the room, and Aria and Hanna gasped, and ran over to Spencer from across the room. Ezra and Caleb followed, their tuxes matching their dates. Spencer looked across the room, and she saw Toby near the security guard. Caleb turned around from across the room, and ran over to Toby, and pointed at Spencer. Toby saw her, and his eyes grew worried at her sickly look. Spencer felt so sick, and she had no idea why. She looked at her hands, they were blue and shaking like crazy. Aria reached Spencer first before Hanna and the guys. "Spencer, what happened? You're so cold." Aria touched Spencer's hand, and Aria's hand was burning to Spencer.

"How… how long was I gone?" Spencer asked. She couldn't remember how long it had been. Aria looked at Emily, and Emily nodded. "Spencer… you were missing for two hours."

Spencer grew confused. "What? Two full hours?" Spencer looked around, and noticed that most kids were gone, and cops were walking around, and Toby, being a cop, ran over to Spencer. Caleb and Ezra seemed concerned too. Paige ran next to Emily, and she worriedly asked Emily what was wrong. Toby threw his arms around his ice cold girlfriend. He held her close, and he gasped at her touch. "Spence, you're freezing!" Toby looked at her, and he placed his hands on the side of her face. She shivered, and she couldn't stop. Toby took off his coat, and placed it around Spencer, then pulling her into his side.

"Dude, she looks like she's about to pass out." Caleb commented, looking back from Toby to Spencer. Toby then lifted her gently, and she curled against his chest, as he carried her over to a table, and sat down, holding her against him. "Can you tell me what happened?"

Spencer looked over to Emily, who was running over to a booth and grabbing hot chocolate. Spencer looked back up to Toby. "I was locked in a freezing room, and I guess I had a panic attack… Ugh." Spencer felt sick. Deathly sick. Like her insides were burning up, but her skin was frozen, and she couldn't balance out the temperatures. Toby rubbed his hands on Spencer's back, and then he began to breathe lightly on her forehead, warmth to her. But she couldn't shake off the sick feeling. "Alison, I saw her go into the maze, I followed her, but… she was gone."

Toby kissed her forehead. "I won't let her do that to you ever again, god, I was looking everywhere for you, I thought… God, Spence, I'm so sorry." Toby placed his forehead onto hers, closing his eyes. "It's not… it's not your fault." Her teeth chattered as she spoke. It seemed to hurt Toby even more. Spencer grabbed his shirt, and clenched her fists closed onto him. Emily walked over to them, gently handing Toby the hot cocoa. "Here, she probably needs it." Toby nodded, and reached out to take it. Her brought it over Spencer's stomach, and looked at her.

"Here, try to drink some of it Spence." Spencer took it gently in her hands, the cup burning her palms. She couldn't, it was too hot. "I can't, it's too hot." Spencer let out, and Toby held the cup instead. His eyes were worried, and he set the cup on the table, and brought her closer to him. He placed his arm around her waist, half his arm resting across her stomach.

Slowly, she gained back her strength, and the cops didn't really bother to ask her questions, cause Toby already basically had gotten the answers they needed. Toby carried Spencer back to his truck, and even though they had had plans to go on a sleigh ride, they couldn't now, it was too late. Spencer frowned as Toby gently set Spencer onto the seat in the truck. He noticed as he came around the truck, and sat next to her, starting up the truck the put on the AC to warm her up. "What's wrong?" Toby asked. Spencer shook her head. "I was so stupid, I shouldn't have followed Alison, god, I ruined our night, I'm sorry."

She looked down. But Toby pulled her to him, his arms around her again. "Spencer, don't you ever apologize to me about something that was out of your control. You did not ruin our night. We can still make it great, okay? I promise, we are going to have the best Christmas together, okay? Do you trust me with that?" Spencer looked at him, and nodded. "I always trust you."

Toby smiled slightly. "Now, how about some eggnog at my place, huh?" Spencer smiled gently at him, and nodded. "Sure. That sounds nice." Toby kissed her forehead. And Spencer leaned back over to her side of the truck, putting on her seat belt, as Toby began to drive back to the loft. Sure, this night hadn't been perfect, but she was sure she'd make it up to him, somehow. And she knew he would try to cheer her up, to whatever cost it was. But what he did when they got back was something that would **_definitely_** warm her up.


	5. Chapter 5: For You? Always

**(The Chapter all Spoby Fans have been waiting for... You'll see what I mean ;) )**

As the truck reached the alley behind the brew, Spencer wasn't so cold anymore. She surely did feel sick still, but, at least she was warm. The truck shuttered to a stop, and Toby stopped the truck near the stairs that went up to the loft. The truck gave out as Toby pulled the keys from the ignition, and he looked over to Spencer. "Are you alright?"

She nodded. There was a silence between them, the sound of an easy breeze from outside the truck. Toby shifted in his seat, looking closer at her. She took her hands and pressed them against her stomach, under Toby's coat he had given her. Spencer looked down at her cold hands, and sighed.

"Spencer…? Is this about what happened at the ball?"

She looked to her side, over to him. She couldn't really see his face, it was dark outside. But she could easily read his worried expression, from his wide eyes, to his stressed expression. Spencer hated to have him worry constantly about her, but she couldn't blame him really. Something always bad had to happen around her and her friends. Toby couldn't control that, neither could she.

"It's about… everything… I guess." Spencer answered, her voice small. She looked back down to her hands, which shook, not from the cold. But from the bad thoughts in her head from all of the terrible things that had happened to her. She could hear Toby breathe out, and then push himself closer to Spencer. "Please, Spencer, don't shut me out. You know I'm always here for you."

Spencer nodded, stating, "I know that Toby, trust me, I know." Toby took her hands from her stomach, and held them in his. "Then please talk to me."

Spencer breathed in, and then shakily breathed back out. "It's just… I don't know. There's something strange going on, I feel it, but… I don't know. Forget I said anything, I'm just being weird." Spencer laughed uncomfortably, shaking her head, and looking down at their intertwined hands. Toby gave her a confused look, and Spencer looked back up at him. She could tell he was just getting more worried.

"You're not being weird, Spence. I just want to understand what you're feeling so I can help you." Toby pulled her hands closer to him, near his chest. Spencer scooted closer to him. "I just want to forget about what happened tonight. I can't even think about what could've happened. Can we please just go inside?" Spencer pleaded, shaking softly. Toby seemed disappointed to not get answers, but he nodded, letting her hands go, and grabbing his keys that sat above the steering wheel, opening his door, and beginning to walk out.

Cold rushed into the truck, and she quickly took Toby's jacket, and wrapped it around her, and opened her door, scooting out, and letting her bare feet hit the cold ground. She saw Toby's silhouette begin to walk up the stairs already. Spencer rushed after him; surprised he didn't wait for her. He was upset, she knew that, but she just didn't want to spend Christmas moping around in sorrow. But, she knew if she didn't fix this, Toby would be the one upset.

Toby opened the loft door, and he held it open for her. Spencer gave him a grateful look, and walked inside. Toby shut the door gently behind him, looking out for a few seconds. Spencer set his jacket on the coat hanger near the door, and she began to take her bun out from her hair. Toby walked over into the kitchen, looking at her hardly. He went to a cabinet shortly above his head, and grabbed a pot from it, and he walked over to the sink, filling the pot with water, and setting it on the burner, twisting the knob quickly. He stood over the burner, even though she knew he knew it'd take around ten minutes.

Spencer sighed, and she sat down on the couch, using her hands to brush out her hair from the knotted bun. She threw the hair tie onto the coffee table, looking down at her stomach again, realizing she didn't feel sick anymore. But she did feel a different sickness. She felt guilty, and nervous. Mainly guilty because she knew Toby just wanted to understand what she was feeling. But she didn't even know how she felt, not anymore really. Spencer turned on the couch, and looked at Toby. He still had his back facing her, still looking down at the pot. Spencer called out sadly, "Toby…"

He froze, and then he turned around, looking at her with sad eyes. Spencer looked sadly at him; it hurt her even worse to see him upset. "Please, please don't give me the guilty card. I'm being honest when I say I don't know how I feel. I just… I don't know how to feel anymore… It's just too hard to." Spencer looked down now, surely crying now. She had no idea why she was crying, she just felt terrible.

She heard Toby's footsteps coming towards her, and she twisted to be facing away from him. She hid her tear streaked eyes with her palms of her hands, and she closed her eyes, crying softly. She felt Toby's presence in front of her, and she could tell he was leaning down in front of her. She heard his knees hit the floor below her, and she felt his hands go on each of her wrists, bringing them down from her face slowly. She looked at him for a second, his blue eyes, his sad look, but then she looked down at her knee.

"I'm sorry Spence. I shouldn't have reacted like that." She didn't look at him, her eyes blurry with tears. He stroked her face with his fingers, prying off some pieces of hair from her face. "Hey… Spence. Look at me." Spencer looked at him, and he slowly leaned forward, pressing his forehead to hers.

"Spencer… You're my everything. Please, if you ever feel this way, please don't hesitate to tell me. You can be honest with me; I'm never going to judge you. Do you remember when you were released from the police station, and what did I say to the first cop?" Toby lightened his voice up, and Spencer replied with, "I will ram you with my wheel chair if you ever arrest her again."

Spencer laughed as she said it, remembering the confused cop as Toby wheeled himself closer to the cop. She remembered he seemed exhausted and he had waited all night out in the waiting room. She remembered seeing him wheel himself over to her.

Toby kept his forehead pressed to hers, laughing lightly. "I knew you could never hurt anyone, you're the sweetest girl I have ever met. I showed that cop, huh?" Spencer smiled gently, her tears starting to dry up. "Yeah, you sure did. He won't bother me ever again." Toby took his hands, and placed them on each side of her face. "I will trip him with that wheel chair." Toby and she laughed quietly amongst themselves, and Toby looked at her. He pulled away gently from her, and stared at her. He took his thumbs, and wiped the remaining tears away, then he leaned forward, his hands sliding down on each side of her hips, and he placed light kisses to her face, to her neck. She laughed gently.

"What are you doing?" She asked, pushing him away playfully. "Kissing the most amazing girlfriend in the world, is that an issue?" He asked mockingly, kissing her other side of her neck, right under her jaw, one of her most sensitive spots. Suddenly, she grabbed his shirt, and pulled him up to be with her, and kisses him right on the mouth. Thank God in the truck she had eaten a billion mints form her previous sickness. Cause right now things were getting heated.

She felt his hands gently press her against him, his body between her legs. She let out a small laugh, and he kissed her again, his lips warm against her slightly cold ones. Suddenly, he stood up slightly, then placed his hands on the couch, pulling himself above her. She moved her body onto the couch, kissing his neck as he touched her waists, her dress the thing blocking skin contact. Spencer looked up at Toby, and he stayed above her. He gently leaned down, kissing her forehead. There was a loud squeal form the kitchen, and Spencer groaned. Toby started to get up to get it, but Spencer playfully pushed him back down onto the couch. "I got it."

Spencer began to walk into the kitchen. She grabbed the handle, and brought the hot water off the burner. She kept blushing suddenly, thinking of Toby who was just in the other room. Spencer filled two cups of water next to her on the counter, about to start making her own eggnog, but she heard a sound from the bedroom. She cocked her head, but thought nothing of it, and continued to make the eggnog. Then, she felt someone's eyes on her. She turned around, but she was greeted by a kiss on her lips by Toby. He had her pinned against the counter, her bottom of her back hitting the counter edge, his hands on her waist. She tried to feel his shirt, but found he didn't have one on. Surprised, she opened her eyes to find he was only in boxers… which were decorated with penguins. Not manly penguins either, they were cute little penguins everywhere, as if from a kids show. Spencer parted form Toby and began to laugh. Toby smiled. "What's so funny?" He asked, pinning her back against the wall as she began to move away from the kitchen.

"Toby, what the hell are you wearing?" She laughed. Toby kissed her again quickly. "Merry Christmas." Spencer looked at him, "Is this a gift?" Toby looked at her seductively. "Maybe. Depends on how you take the gift."

Spencer raised an eyebrow at him, and he reached behind her back, beginning to unzip her dress from her shoulders. She kisses him hard, almost attacking him, and stroking her hands down his abs, her fingers then tightening their grip in his hair. Toby pulls her dress off her chest, then off her legs, and Spencer kicks her dress off, just in her bando and her white laced panties. Toby's arms go under her calves, and pulls her up, and he begins to carry her to his bedroom, as Spencer makes out with him intensely. Spencer then closes her eyes as he enters his bedroom. He gently leans over her, placing her gently on the side of his bed. Spencer opens her eyes, looking at him as she pulls his boxers towards her, and he smiles at her mysteriously, and then comes over her, kissing her neck, his tongue grazing her skin. She can't help but moan. Wow. What a Christmas gift this was.

They continue kissing until Spencer has to stop to breathe. When Spencer catches her breath, Toby kisses her neck, his hands roaming over her waist, then over her stomach, back up to her neck. Spencer opens her eyes, looking up at the ceiling. She looked to her right, and sees the snow floating outside the window. She peels her eyes away from the snow scenery, and she grips Toby's face in between her hands, and kisses him again, their lips both hot. He feels his hand go under her calf, and pull it over his waist. Spencer moans as friction begins to heat up between them. He then grips under her back with both hands, and she wraps her legs around his waist as he gently lifts her to lie back on the pillows. He begins to slowly grind against her, and Spencer's hands begin to shake uncontrollably, as she grips the sheets on both her sides, her legs tightening around him. He kissed her space between her breasts, and Spencer grabs the bottom of her bando, and pries it off. He helps her take it off, and she throws it off the bed. His eyes graze over her for a few seconds, and he kisses her lightly but deeply on her lips. "I love you." He whispers. "I love you too." Spencer breaths out, heavily. Spencer grabs Toby's boxers and she bits his bottom lip lightly. Toby moans, and he helps Spencer get his boxers off. Spencer watches as he throws them to their right, and she was sure she would be borrowing those soon. Spencer pulls her panties off, and they both look at each other. It wasn't as much as a lustful look. Toby's blue eyes glowed in the dark, and the lights from outside the loft peered through the window, only lighting up one side of his face. Spencer breathed heavily below him, the world growing slow, quiet, only the sound of their breathing exists now. Spencer could feel her heart beat in her stomach, and Toby slowly touches her chin, kissing her lips. This innocent kiss gives way to love, and love grows to passion, then to lust. Their bodies began to move in rhythm, in sync with each other. Toby tried to stay gentle with her, she was not very used to it yet. But she felt safe, she felt calm. Toby began to kiss her neck, moving in deep slow movements with her, their bodies hot and sweaty. Spencer let out a loud moan, and Toby touches her hips, then under her legs, bringing himself even closer to her as they then road out each other's pleasurable orgasms. Spencer screamed out a loud moan, and she felt her heart beat faster and faster. Toby kisses her neck harder, and then he pulls away, and seals his lips with Spencer's pressing himself against in her in an amazingly deep way. "Ah, Toby… I'm— close…" Spencer grabbed his shoulders, then she threw her hands on his back, clawing him gently. Toby moaned back, replying shakily with, "Me…too." Spencer could only hear their heavy breathing, and she suddenly felt a frenzy of heat explode in her body, making her arch her back up, her chest hitting against his, her head back, as she let out the loudest moan she had ever let out, and raking Toby's back with her nails, as Toby stiffened above her, moaning too. Spencer breathed out, and she lied back down, and Toby relaxed above her, kissing her one last time. He rolled off of her, but he pulled her against his chest, and she listened to the quick beating of his heart.

Spencer still shook from the pleasure, and Toby stroked her bare back. "Was I bad?" Spencer asked, worried she had gone too far with her clawing his back. Toby stopped. He looked down at her. "What are you talking about?" Spencer shrugged. "Did I like… hurt you?" Toby hugged her against him. "Spencer, you were perfect. Don't you ever think you did something wrong with… making love." Spencer smiled at the words _making love._ It sounded so romantic. "I should be asking you if you're alright." Toby touched her hip, and Spencer looked up at him. "I'm fine. More than fine. I feel… amazing." Toby smiled, and kissed her forehead. "I just don't want you to ever feel uncomfortable." Spencer kisses his chest, and shushes him. "You would never hurt me, Tobes." She loved calling him nick names, she thought it was cute, like the way he would call her Spence when he was worried about her, or proud of her, or just ever in general. She closed her eyes, and Toby held her in his arms, he shielded her from the coldness of the world outside. He stared down at the girl he will always love. More than his own life.

Toby never pictured him being with anyone, net ever really, but Spencer… god. She was everything. Maybe it was about the way she looked at him with her wide brown eyes, or the way she laughed when she was once cleaning the floors of the loft, and Toby slipped on the wet floor. Or maybe it was how she kissed him like he was her one. Like he was the man of her dreams, her hero. It could be the way she bit her fingernails when she studied, or how she twisted the pencil in her small hands. It could be the way she talked to him, like he was her best friend, and the way she trusted him with all of her feelings, all of her emotions, how she trusted him to keep her safe. He loved her. But the word love never seemed like enough for how he felt for her. For in that moment, he knew there was more. To have her in his arms, as he felt her slowly fall asleep, as he watched her body rise and fall with deep sleep. She was his girl.

He couldn't help it now. He wanted to do something, so he did. He began to lightly sing to her, just for her to hear:

**_"_****_Oh, my darling, in my eyes I see forever here with you_**

**_There's no denying how much I will fight for you._**

**_Here you are, breathing softly in my arms_**

**_Sweetheart, I promise to you, I'll keep safe from all that is harm_**

**_This world may be full of questions _**

**_But there is no question in how I feel for you_**

**_You are my angel, my light, _**

**_True beauty does not exist until I have you here tonight_**

**_So, please, please my love, don't be afraid_**

**_My love for you will never fade_**

**_Because you are the one person who makes my world so great_**

**_I will spend as long as I can with you, no matter how late"_**

I love you. So much." Toby finished. He looked down at Spencer, and he saw she smiled. She opened her eyes slightly, and hugged him. "Can you sing it again to me?" Toby smiled, and kisses her cheek. "For you? Always."


	6. Chapter 6: The Unexpected Question

It was the pale morning sun that woke him up. Or maybe it was that he felt Spencer stir slightly next to him, her hair streaked in different places on her pillow. Toby opened his eyes slowly as he tightened his grip around his girlfriend's waist. He felt her warm body press against his, and he could feel her steady breathing. How could it already be morning? Toby only wanted last night to last forever. He was sure his voice would be weak from singing to her all night, but after she had fallen completely asleep, he stopped. Not because he didn't want to keep singing, but because he loved how she drifted away to sleep on his chest, and he thought singing would keep her up. But, to be honest, he was exhausted. It was a secret, but after Spencer fell asleep, he left the bedroom. He was going to make this Christmas special for her. No matter what it took.

He had actually planned this out, beforehand. He bought her small gifts, not huge or anything, but he wanted to make her feel special. Toby gently had pried Spencer off of him, and he quietly got out of the bed. He slid on a new pair of plaid boxers, then his signature blue pajama pants, smiling at the vivid memories that came along with them. He hid presents in his laundry room, a hidden door was behind the washer for safes, but he used it for her presents. Throughout the night, Toby placed small gifts around their now decorated Christmas tree. Most of them were small things like things from Cathy Jean, one of Spencer's go to stores, and other small things he made. Toby placed each present gently under the tree, and the last item was his most scary present. It was a small box, small enough to fit in the palm of his hand. Nerves shot through him. What if she wasn't ready? Toby shook those thoughts away. This present would be the last one. The small ring. An engagement ring.

He loved her more than anything in the world. And if he wanted to do this, he had to do it right. But he knew he was going to spend the rest of his life with her. He knew it. _And he was hoping, praying, she felt the same way…_

So yes, his nerves grew then, as Spencer was beginning to wake up. Spencer rolled over beside Toby, and she gently placed her body across his, her arm around his torso, and she rested her head in the crook of his neck, breathing in slowly. She felt so soft in his arms; he was holding his world in his arms. He smiled as she let out a small yawn, and he lightly then pressed a kiss to her cranium, then he stroked her hair away from her face. When he looked out of the window, he saw that the sun was peeking out from behind a bunch of low cut trees in the distance. The sun rose quite quickly, and the light danced into his room, and reached his feet, then slowly trailing up to his torso, then reaching Spencer's face. The light brought out the smallest details about her, and Toby was mesmerized by her. From her pink lips, to her simple two freckles on the left side of her face. He lightly touched her cheek, caressing her face. Spencer smiled slightly underneath him, and she opened her eyes to meet his. Her eyes were far lighter than usual, the sun adding a gold tint to them. Spencer reached up, touching his face under her soft palm. They stared at each other, admirable.

"Merry Christmas Spence." Toby whispered. Spencer's eyes widened. "Is it really?" Spencer got up, pulling the sheets around her. She smiled, and she lightly pressed a kiss to his lips. "I can make us some coffee." Spencer tried to get up, but Toby grabbed her arms, and she turned to face him, and he pulled her back down, kissing her neck. She was laughing, trying to push him off. Toby jokingly began to tickle her stomach, and Spencer's eyes became daggers. "Oh, no! Stop, stop!" She was laughing, but also trying to keep a serious face, which just made Toby laugh even harder. Suddenly, Spencer frowned, and he stopped. But then her smile grew to become menacing, and she slid out from under him, grabbing his arm, and she flipped herself on top of him, pinning him down beneath her, her hair blanketing around Toby's face. "I win." Spencer whispered over him. Toby smiled, and lifted his hand to touch her sun lit cheek. How was it possible for such beauty to exist? Even more importantly to him, how was it possible that she was his? She was perfect. He didn't care if she would deny it, but she just truly was perfect, and so much more. Always so much more to him.

"Spencer, just to warn you, I heard some pretty weird things last night." Toby mocked. Spencer furrowed her eyes at him. "What do you mean?" Toby smiled, and sat up with her straddling him, and kissed her forehead lightly, breathing in her vanilla scent. "Get dressed, and go check for yourself." He exclaimed, and Spencer smiled. She got off of him, and she walked gracefully over to the corner of the right side of the room, grabbing his hideous penguin boxers, and she slipped them on, before she walked over to his closet doors. She walked inside, and after a few seconds, he saw her walk back out, her long brown hair thrown over to one side of her head as she adjusted one of his white t-shirts onto her perfect frame. She leaned against the wall, smiling at him. "Is this a trick?" She asked, then walked over to the bed, and crawling onto the bed, sitting criss-cross across from him. Toby shook his head, "No."

Spencer nodded, and she got off the bed, and went over to the vinyl player that was against the wall in his room, and she got her bag from the floor next to it, and she reached inside the box, pulling out a small box that was wrapped in red and green striped wrapping paper. Toby smiled at her, and she jumped onto the bed, handing him the box that fit in her hand. "What is this?" Toby asked, touching each of her knees that were across from him. She pushed the gift towards him. "Open it." She smiled. Toby gave in, and he took the box from her hand, and she brought her hand to her mouth, smiling. Toby tore the paper gently from the box, and he saw it was a small black box. He looked back up to her. "Don't stop, just go ahead Tobes." She laughed, touching his knee with hers. He looked back down at the box, and opened it. Inside was a silver locket. Small, simple, but it truly made his heart fill with… even he didn't know. Joy? Happiness? Love? Yes, love. Definitely love.

Toby then pressed the side of the locket, and the front opened up, and inside he saw Spencer and him. It was a small picture of them, Spencer was laughing of course. Toby was carrying her wedding style. She was wearing a blue graduation outfit, and he remembered that day she graduated from Rosewood High…

_"__When do you think she'll be coming out?" Mrs. Hastings sat next to Toby in the row of seats placed outside. The front of the school was now gathering all of the students. Toby's eyes searched for her, but he couldn't find her in the sea of blue capes. Toby spotted Emily among the crowd of loud students, and Emily caught his eye, and smiled. Toby waved at her, smiling back. Emily took a small bow before heading back towards the crowd. Toby felt his heart pound, longing to see his beautiful girl among that sea of blue. _

_Once everyone was settled in, they began to call out names alphabetically. He heard a few names he recognized, each student grabbing their diploma seemed to take forever for him. He was frantically searching for her. Suddenly it got to Emily's name, and he clapped and called out, "Go Em!" Emily heard him and she laughed as she took the diploma from Principal Hacket._

_After, he knew Spencer would be coming out soon. He felt himself grow more and more excited to see his girl finally get her diploma. Soon, Principal Hacket called out, "Spencer Hastings." And Toby saw her walk out from the crowd, her smile innocently cute, and Toby stood up and let out a loud whoop for her. Spencer looked over and she laughed, as she took the diploma from his hand. Spencer's parents laughed, and everyone sitting down turned to Toby, and just stared. He didn't care though, that was his girl up there. Spencer began to walk back down to where she had to sit. And Toby whistled, and Spencer yelled over him, "Thanks Toby!" _

_After all the names had gone through, the Principal smiled, before calling, "Ladies and gentlemen, your class of 2015!" They all stood, and he thanked God Spencer caught his eye. Spencer along with everyone else grabbed their hats off, and threw them into the air with loud laughter. Toby watched as Spencer and her friends laughed, and Toby caught her eyes again. He winked at her, and she blushed. _

_Things got chaotic after that, with all the students rushing to find their parents. Toby looked for Spencer, in the huge crowd of crying parents and overly excited students. _

_"__Toby!" _

_An angelic voice called from his right side, and he instantly turned. She was smiling at him, her hair curled loosely around her face, her cape draping to the ground. "Spence!" _

_She ran over to him, throwing her arms around him. "I did it! I'm finally done." Toby wrapped her closer into his arms, and rocked her slowly. "I'm so proud of you baby, you're amazing, you know that?" Spencer laughed. "Thank you Toby. Thank you so much." He let her go, and looked at her. "Why are you thanking me?" Spencer seemed to reach an emotional point, and she had small tears in her eyes. "For everything. I love you." Spencer smiled, and her perfect square white teeth seemed to glow, just like everything about her. Suddenly, Toby reached under her, and her lifted her up, and kisses her, holding her in his arms. Mrs. Hastings and Mr. Hastings actually smile. Really smile. And Emily snaps a picture of them with her camera she brought that day. Toby broke away from her, and whispered to her, "I love you too. Happy Graduation, Spence." _

Toby looked down at the picture now, seeing the clear happiness shown between them. He loved it. It was the perfect gift. He looked up at Spencer, and he said with every ounce of meaning, "I love it Spencer. This is perfect." Spencer smiled, and kissed his cheek. "I'm glad you like it."

He wrapped the locket around, and he gently placed it on his side table. "Now, go ahead and check the living room." Spencer laughed, and got off the bed, running out like a child, which brightened Toby's heart. Toby followed shortly after her, and he saw her face when she saw how he decorated beneath the tree with presents. Her mouth dropped, and she turned to face him.

"Toby! You did not!" She exclaimed, as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "Yeah, I really did though." Spencer pried him away. "Toby, oh my God, this is far too much, you didn't have to do this for me!" Toby hugs her waist tighter, kissing her neck. "I wanted to. Plus, I already have the best gift this world could've given me. You." Spencer turned around, and lightly kisses him. "Thank you. This has already been the best Christmas ever, not because of the gifts"—

She said, turning to face the presents, then turning back to him, "…but because I got to spend it with you."

She meant what she said. Spencer just wanted to be with him, that's all she ever wanted. She was still deciding whether or not to make him return the gifts, she thought this was all way too much. But the way he was looking at her, like all that mattered was her, she knew he probably would not let her make him return those presents. Toby smiled at her, and walked over to his couch, sitting down. "Go ahead, open your presents."

Spencer rolled her eyes, then laughed, before she sat on the floor like a child, and took the first gift. It was a pink bag, and Spencer smiled. "Really Toby, this is too"—

"No excuses, Spence!" He laughed, crossing his arms, and winking at her. She turned back to the bag, and lulled out the white wrapping paper, and inside was her all time favorite Stella perfume. Spencer laughed. "Always my favorite, thank you Tobes."

He nods, and he then gets up, and leans next to her, and she reaches for a bigger gift, then she feels Toby's arms go around her waist as she begins to take the tissue paper out. Inside, is a beautiful coat. It's a black color, having straps to wrap around the waist, and pockets that was super soft on the inside. The coat easily seemed to be two-hundred dollars. "Oh my gosh, Toby, this…" But she felt him hug her closer. She was about to argue, but by the way he was holding her, she was sure he meant every bit of all of this.

Spencer continued to open gift after gift, each time more than shocked and overjoyed. There was one gift that was a picture frame with her and Toby hugging. Spencer had her head against his chest, and Toby's arms were coiled around her. It was from the day he came back from his trip to find answers about his Mom. It was outside of the school, and Emily must've taken a picture.

_Spencer stared at Emily for a few seconds, thinking about finding Alison. It had been already a long week, and Spencer was tired. She saw Emily's gaze turn from her, to something behind Spencer. She noticed, and turned around, the morning breeze blowing her loose curls behind her back. She caught her eyes on the truck she had seen many times before, and her boyfriend who was getting out the brown truck. Spencer couldn't help but feel the joy of seeing Toby again. He wore a blue leather jacket that had red and white stripes going down the sleeves of his arms. He also wore jeans, and under his jacket he had a blue t-shirt with a red collar. Some of the top of the shirt was button up, showing some of his neck. He smiled at her as she began to walk towards him. "Hey." Spencer called over to him. "Hey." He called back. He reached arms length from her, before she spoke up. "I think you should probably hold me right now, otherwise I'm going to explode and you'll have to explain that to the custodians." _

_He laughed at that, and she smiled, as he pulled her into him, hugging her over her shoulders, drawing her close. She breathed in his leather scent, before whimpering, "I can't wait for that long again." Toby froze, before she felt him rub her back gently. "It was just a week." _

_Spencer frowned, complaining, "No, it was more like two." He held her for another moment, before letting her go. "Did you find any answers about your Mom?" She asked, still holding one of his hands. Her looked down at their hands, before answering, "Some, but not enough." _

_Spencer sighed, before she jumped at the sound of a car screeching towards them, and a car horn. A blue mustang came rushing towards them, the driver Mona with sunglasses pulled over her eyes. Toby grabbed her waist, pulling her back, as the car sped past them towards the school. "There was a time Mona would've driven right through us. She must be making progress." Toby whispered over to her. "Yeah, and she's working on her aim." Spencer swallowed, and Toby grabbed her hands, and pulled her lightly against his side, kissing her forehead. "Are you okay?" _

_Spencer looked up at him. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just, I missed you a lot." Toby smiled, squeezing her side lightly. "I missed you too Spence." Spencer stayed next to him for a minute, closing her eyes. Then, the loud bell ran from the school and Spencer groaned. "I have to get to class." She said, pulling away from Toby, looking at the school doors. Toby laughed, and grabbed her around her waist, then kissing her on the lips. She let herself fall against him for a few seconds. "I need to probably head back to the loft anyways, to unpack. Do you want to come over later? I found some things about my Mom, and, I guess I just want you to be there with me to have someone to talk to about it." _

_Spencer nodded, backing away. "I will, I promise. I'll call you after school, okay?" Toby stood there, and smiled. "Okay."_

Yeah, she remembered that day. She felt so bad for him, about his mother, about how much it hurt him to not have the answers he wanted. But, now, he let her rest, and finally is at peace. Sure, she still felt the sorrow for him, but he was happy now. He was happily with her.

There was one more gift, but Spencer had no idea about it. Spencer began to stand, and walked over to Toby, kissing his cheek lightly. He touched her waist. "Thank you Toby. This, this was amazing." Toby smiled. He grabbed her hands, and stood up. "There's… one more gift for you."

Spencer laughed lightly, looking up at him. "Another?" Toby nodded, before walking over to the tree, and reaching up above Spencer's height. Spencer's eyes followed his steady hands, as he grabbed a black jewelry box. Spencer felt her heart stop, then beginning to beat fast. Toby slowly lowered down, and stood in front of her. He grabbed one of her hands, and Spencer let her free hand fly over her mouth, tears filling her eyes as he slid down to one knee. "Toby…" Spencer cried. Toby looked up at her, his eyes searching hers.

He rubbed his thumb over her knuckle, as he opened the box with one hand, and inside was a diamond ring, simple, but beautiful. Spencer felt her tears fall over her cheeks, as he opened his mouth to speak.

"Spencer Jill Hastings. I love you, more than anything in this whole entire world. I love you, everything about you. I never knew that I could love someone as much as I love you. You're my everything, my one and only, my girl. Maybe it was the way you healed me after I thought I could never be saved, or, maybe it's how you trust me with everything, and how I trust you with everything. Spencer, I promise you I will be there for you for the rest of your life, and I'd never let anyone hurt you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, no matter where we are, or what situations we are in, I know I'll always love you. I, God, I love you so much Spence. And I will spend the rest of my life proving to you that. Will you marry me?"

Spencer breathed out, her hands shaking violently. "Toby…"

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	7. Chapter 7: The Answer

"Toby…"

The room was quiet and warm from the candles that danced small colorful lights among the walls of the loft. He had popped the question, a very much unexpected question. Sure, she was twenty, and he was twenty one, but was she ready for this? She could feel her heart beating against her chest, her hands sweaty and shaky. Marriage, marriage. She loved Toby, she knew that. But she felt this heavy weight in her chest, out of fear. Fear that –A could possibly ruin this. Ruin everything like he/she/it/bitch had before. But she knew he would never leave her, he would always protect her. Toby's eyes searched hers, as she closed her eyes, thinking…

_Spencer and Toby were lying in the back of the truck. It was night time, only the sound of the steady breeze against the pine trees. She was leaning against Toby, a blanket around them, a set up of pillows in the back of his truck. The area was just a forest, an open range full of tall grass where Toby had parked the car. She enjoyed these small moments with him, just being with him in general. She shivered as the night breeze hit her arms, and she cuddled in closer against Toby, his body her forever warmth against the colder world. He looked down at her, smiling. "Cold?" _

_Spencer shook her head, no. She reached around his waist, breathing in his familiar leather and cologne scent. Toby pulled her closer, laughing gently as she shivered again. _

_"__I can grab another blanket from inside the truck; I don't want you to freeze out here"—_

_But Spencer quietly cut him off. "I'm fine, really Tobes. Thanks." _

_She loved that he was always making sure she was comfortable, but she also hoped he would care for himself too. She wanted him to be happy as well, not just her. But, he was everything to her. If there was a heaven, then Toby was her guardian angel. She saw it in his eyes, in the way he held her, in the way he kissed her. She thought about their future, what it would look like, where it would be, but she knew she didn't care. She loved him. She just wanted to be with him, that's all she would ever need. _

_"__What are you thinking about?" Toby asked, looking down at her, her expression thoughtful. "I'm thinking about us." She answered truthfully. Toby smiled, moving so he could look into her eyes. "What about us?" _

_Spencer smiled back at him and she sat up straighter so she could look at him while she talked. "About our future, where it'll be, how… I don't know, was just thinking." She shyly ended the thought there, and she looked down at her hands. Toby reached over, and touched her hand with his, then holding it. "I know, for a fact, I'll go wherever you go. And when you're my wife, I'll be the best husband I can for you. I promise you that. I promise you forever, if you want." Spencer smiled, tears surely in her eyes, stars shinning down at her wide and happy eyes. "I love you." Toby whispered, pulling her into him slowly, kissing her gently. "No matter what Spence."_

"I love you Toby… Yes. Yes, I do." Spencer said loud and proudly, and Toby smiled, his eyes glowing like never before. He slowly rose, and he pulled Spencer against his warm chest, and she hugged him with her arms around his waist. "I love you Toby." Spencer felt more tears going down her cheeks as she held him against her. She was going to marry him. If she was going to marry anyone, she knew it was always going to be Toby. She loved him, and she was ready to be his wife for as long as she would live. Toby pulled away, and kissed her. She placed her hands on each side of his face, and she laughed gently. Toby looked at her, and he laughed softly back, and he took her left hand, and took the ring, sliding it gently onto her ring finger. It fit perfectly. Spencer took a few moments just to stare at the ring that now lied on her finger. It felt like it was always meant to be there. Toby stood in front of her, and he lightly pulled her in for another hug. "I love you so much Spence." Spencer squeezed him against her lightly, closing her eyes. "I love you too."

Spencer then closed her eyes, just letting the moment sink in. His hands were on the small part of her lower back, and she could tell he was smiling. "Spencer Cavanaugh." He whispered. She laughed. "I like it."

Toby pulled back, and she felt tears in her eyes. She tried to wipe them away. "Is something wrong?" Toby asked his hands on her waist. His eyes furrowed, as if he was trying to read her mind. "No, no. This… this has been the best day of my life." Spencer smiled at him, and Toby smiled a half smile, kissing her forehead, and then looking back at her. "So, what now?"

Spencer laughed, and then she pulled away, and then sat on the couch. "What now." She whispered. She looked to her right, looking outside of the window. Light snowflakes danced down around the wind, she could tell the air was cold. But off in the distance she could see sunlight. Maybe everything was going to be okay. Maybe she could live happily now. No Alison, no –A. But she had to be honest with herself. Alison was still somewhere out there, and so was –A. Until her and her friends could find real proof that Ali was –A, their nightmare would certainly not be over. And that was what scared Spencer the most. That even when she was with Toby, even if she was with her friends, she feared –A was still out there, plotting, scheming, and laughing a hideous laugh.

Spencer looked away from the window, back down to her ring on her hand. Spencer sighed. Toby sat next to her, touching her knee. "Spence, is everything alright? If you're not sure about marriage, I don't want you to feel"—

"No, Toby, I do want to marry you, I know I do. I love you. I'm just worried…" Spencer couldn't look at Toby in the eye. She didn't want to discuss –A on Christmas. Especially since Toby proposed just five minutes ago, she didn't want to bring this up. But Toby was already worried. "Worried about what?"

Spencer sighed, before swallowing quietly, and pulling her knees to her chest, looking at Toby. "A."

At that one letter, Toby froze, and then silently sighed, reaching behind Spencer, and pulling her gently into his side. "I won't ever leave your side Spence. I won't ever let –A hurt you. I promise." Spencer nodded her head, but argued back, "I know Toby, I know. But it's not me I'm worried about. It's you. What if –A or Alison, or whoever this bitch is, tries to hurt you?" Toby looked at her, saddened eyes, and he looked down, his arms tightening around her as Spencer continued to talk, "I don't think I could ever live with myself if something ever happened to you…" Toby snapped his eyes back up to her, and he stroked her back with his fingertips lightly. "Spencer, don't you ever say that. It's not ever your fault, okay; I don't you to ever apologize for something –A does." Spencer felt her tears welling up in her eyes, and she looked at Toby. "I just don't see how this is going to work."

Toby looked at her, confused at first, but then he pulled himself closer to her. "What do you mean?"

She placed her head against his shoulder, and cried slightly. "Everything. How am I going to live a normal life if –A is still out there? I just… I don't know how I'm going to be able to live normally."

Toby shook his head, and he looked seriously into her eyes.

"Spencer Jill Hastings, you're the strongest person I've ever met, maybe even the strongest soul in this world. I swear to you, I will protect with every ounce of my soul, and I promise I will do everything I can to help you, to catch this bastard, to make you happy. I know I'm not the smartest guy, nor the richest, but I will not give up on fighting for our future, or for you."

Spencer closed her eyes, still crying slightly, his arms soothing her waist and her back. "I believe you Toby. But there's one thing that is true, it's that nothing will be normal until –A is stopped." Toby stiffened, but then she felt him nod. "I know. And that's why I'm not going to stop looking. But Spence, all you can do now is try to live normally. Even though –A is out there, we can try to be happy, hell, we will be happy. My beautiful wife." Spencer smiled at that response, and pulled away from him, looking at him. "Thank you Toby. And I look forward to that." Toby smiled, but then his eyes grew concerned again. "Are you feeling better? Seriously Spence, I know you've been through more than normal people go through in a lifetime." Spencer touched Toby's hand, and he grew quiet, waiting for her reply. "I'm okay. I mean, yeah, I'm worried, but I'm happy. I'm engaged to the best boyfriend in the world, I'm just going to focus on that." Spencer dried her tears away with her palms, and she got off the couch, Toby following. "Seriously, all these gifts are too much, especially with this ring, like holy crap Toby, this ring is pulling me to the floor!"

Toby laughed, but shook his head as he headed for the kitchen. "No returns, no refunds Spence. That's all yours." Spencer rolled her eyes sarcastically at her boyfriend, wait, no, fiancé. "Okay then fiancé!" She called back. She caught Toby smile at that remark, and he was starting to heat up some water. Spencer went to the table, and sat in a seat where she could face the kitchen. Toby walked over to the table, and sat in a seat near Spencer. "So, when are you going to tell your friends?" Toby asked. Spencer breathed out. "Wow, they're going to freak out, haha, ummm. We could gather all of them tomorrow night, cause they're probably all celebrating Christmas today." She thought of her parents at that moment. "Wait, Toby, do my parents know?"

Toby smiled. "Your dad was quiet reluctant to give in, but he came around." Toby smiled slightly, then looked at her. "Was he hard on you? Ugh, I knew it, I should talk to him"—

"No Spence, it's fine. He just wants to protect you."—

"Protect me? He's done a great job at that!" Spencer snapped back, a little too harshly. She saw Toby look down, his eyes unreadable. "I'm sorry, it's just… You're the one good thing in my life, I wish he could see that as well as I can." Toby looked back at her, holding one of her hands. "But he said yes, didn't he? I know he must like me, at least, a little bit."

The thought of her dad and Toby brought back the last memory she had of them two in the same room…

_The awkward silence was unbearable. It was always like this around them; especially when Mr. Hastings sat across from Spencer and Toby at the dinner table. Toby was never a huge fan of her dad, Spencer could tell. But Mrs. Hastings was more close to Toby, with when Spencer was on drugs, when Toby would help her with the yard, small things like that. But her dad on the other hand was… a bit colder. Not in a sense, mean, but just harder to get a connection with. So, as it was snowing outside, this is what you called a Hastings dinner. Spencer had finished college, and her parents wanted to have a dinner with them, well, Melissa was invited, but she hadn't heard from Melissa ever since she fled from Rosewood after Spencer found out Melissa was the one who buried Bethany Young, thinking Spencer had been the one to kill her. But, things were so complicated between them now, Spencer was sort of glad Melissa hadn't had showed up for the dinner. _

_Toby sat next to Spencer, while her parents sat across from them. Spencer suddenly felt her hands go numb, and she felt like she couldn't really talk at all. She hadn't seen her parents in awhile, but she was sort of glad to see they were doing fine. In a sense, they were fine. Toby saw her uncomfortable look on her face, and he cleared his throat. "Well, I think this dinner looks great!" Toby exclaimed, smiling at her parents. Mrs. Hastings smiled in return, her eyes glowing. "Thank you, Toby. It was all my secret recipes here tonight. And with Spencer's help, right Spence?" Spencer snapped her head up at her name, and she nodded at her mom. "Yeah, it was nice spending time with you, uh, both of you." She stuttered, looking at her dad. Her dad looked at Spencer, as if he was trying to read her, before asking, "So, how has school been going?"_

_Of course he asked about school, Spencer thought. That's all he seemed to really care about: What her grades were, how her tests were going, and if Toby was earning a lot of money. Blah, blah, blah. "It's going well, I think I'm really starting to get into design." Her dad cocked his head, his eyes narrowing. "Design? I never thought design was really, hmmm, beneficial." _

_Spencer rolled her eyes. What a homecoming this was. Toby saw Spencer look down, as if she were disappointed in herself. Toby lightly touched her knee, giving her a meaningful look, before speaking up for her. "I think whatever Spencer chooses to do in the future will be amazing, just like her. I've seen what she has done with my loft, it's pretty impressive, I must say." Spencer smiled at him for him speaking up for her, and she heard her dad swallow loudly, before narrowing his eyes at Toby. "Is that so? I don't think Spencer has ever brought up living with you at your loft." _

_Mrs. Hastings smiled as if she was going to laugh and Spencer could see why. Her dads face was turning red, and Spencer thought it was actually kind of hilarious. "I'd love to see what you've done with the place, Spencer." Mrs. Hastings yipped, taking a sip of red wine from her glass. Mr. Hastings turned to her, angry. "Veronica, are you not upset, even just a little, that our daughter is… is living- with Toby?!" Spencer hated when her dad talked about her like she wasn't in the room. It pissed her off. _

_Spencer finally spoke up after she felt she had enough of her father ignoring her presence completely. "Dad, you do know I'm sitting right here?!" Spencer snapped. Her Dad looked at her like she had just threatened him. "Spencer you think you are going to live with Toby without our permission, well, then you are wrong." Toby interrupted as Mr. Hastings talked. "She's in college! After all the things that have happened to her, the least I can do is offering her someplace to stay." Mr. Hastings looked from Toby, to Spencer, then back at Toby. _

_"__Well than she could've stayed here, at her home!" Spencer cut in, tired of the fighting. "Like I was welcome here. Dad, this is my decision, not yours!" Her Dad stopped for a few seconds, looking at Spencer, at her stomach, then at her face, then back at Toby. Mrs. Hastings stayed quiet, and she looked like she was about to cry, keeping on an unreadable face._

"You're pregnant, aren't you?!" Her Dad boasted out. Toby and Spencer both yelled out at once, "What?!" Spencer looked at her dad, angrily. "I am NOT pregnant Dad!" Spencer hissed through bared teeth, and Toby seemed to be sick. "Really? Why else would you be moving in with your boyfriend at that age? How long have you been pregnant, tell me!" 

_Spencer stood up, throwing her napkin down. "Unbelievable. You're unbelievable, Dad, you know that?!" Spencer had tears in her eyes, as she walked furiously out of the dining room, while Toby quickly followed her. Spencer slammed the yard door open from around the kitchen and she ran out. She already could feel tears running down her cheeks. She could feel Toby's gentle presence behind her, and she curled her arms tightly close to her chest, feeling like sobbing. She felt his warm hand grip around her elbow, and he gently turned her around, leaning over to wipe the tears off her face. It was nighttime, the small glimpse of the pale white moon above. Crickets hummed around them, and there was also the faint sound of Spencer's small cry. "All I want is for them to be happy for me. That's all."_

Toby coiled his arms around Spencer's waist, pulling her head into his chest gently. "It's not your fault Spence. They love you Spencer, I know it may not feel like it to you, but they do. They do." Spencer doubted it. She sniffled quietly against Toby's chest. "God, I can't believe my Dad would say something like that. That I was 'pregnant'? What kind of assumption is that?"

_Toby sighed. "Spencer, he was just mad at himself. He doesn't understand us. He's just trying to apply his knowledge to reasoning for you living with me, but he can't see how much I love you, or how much you love me. Just give it time Spencer, he'll come around." Spencer laughed sarcastically. "I hope so."_

_They stayed there for a few minutes. "Can we go?" Spencer asked. Toby sighed. "You sure you don't want to at least try to talk to them?" She could tell he didn't like ending things like this. But Spencer couldn't face them again now. "No, I can't. I just can't now."_

_"__Okay." Was all Toby said, but it was enough. He understood. Sometimes, it seemed like he was the only one who understood her better than she did. Or anyone else. Just one of the many reasons why she loved him. "It wouldn't be that terrible, would it?" Toby whispered. Spencer looked up for a second at his face, pulling away slightly. "What do you mean?"_

He seemed shy. "I mean, being pregnant… I mean, then we'd get our little newborn with a six-pack." Spencer was standing there with a hanging mouth. "Toby! There's no way I am getting pregnant, at least not now, not until we're married"—

_"__I'll take that into consideration." Toby joked, smiling joyfully at her. Spencer shook her head. "Never mind, god, no baby talk until I'm twenty five, okay?" Spencer exclaimed, her hands uncomfortably around her stomach, as if she was going to be sick. Toby looked curiously at her. _

_"__Twenty-five, huh?" Spencer nodded. "Well, things may change later, but yeah, definitely not until I much MUCH older." Toby hesitated, "Having a kid's a great thing." Spencer looked more concerned at him. _

_Why was he talking about this NOW? Was he trying to hint he wanted to have baby with her? Oh, God, she was definitely not up to that. No way. "Toby, I know it is. Just… I'm not ready to be a mom. Not now." Toby laughed, kissing her forehead. "I know Spence, I'm just messing with you. No Mommy tasks till twenty-five, okay, now let's go!" Spencer rolled her eyes, and she laughed as Toby held her hand, leading her back to his truck. She knew he could always make her feel better. She kept thinking about a little Toby running around, she knew it'd be a scary thing, but she'd have Toby when it was happening. But she knew that wasn't going to happen for another solid six years. At least, that's what she thought then. _

"You're right." Spencer replied gently. "I mean, how can he not like you?" Spencer smiled, kissing his cheek. Toby smiled gleefully at her, standing up. "You hungry, Spence?" She stretched her arms and legs, then replied with a yawn, "Yesss"

She stretched out her back a little bit, she could hear Toby beginning to turn on a burner, then she smelt the aroma of bacon filling the room. She smiled down at the ring on her finger. She was engaged. She was going to get married. She was Toby's _fiancé._


	8. Chapter 8: Nerves and Drunk Talk

It was a long morning full of cleaning up the left over wrapping paper from her small Christmas and excitement for Spencer to tell her friends about her engagement. Every second the ring was on her finger, the more and more it became more real. She was really going to be a wife. She still couldn't process that through her head. It all happened so fast, yet it felt so right. It felt perfect. Even though she was 20 and Toby were 21, it felt like she had waited her whole life to marry Toby. After the floor was cleared, Spencer pilled her gifts into her side of the closet in Toby's room, taking most of the stuff into the bathroom like lotions and perfumes, placing them each gently under the sink, in the cabinet. She felt like she could just have a meltdown, not the bad type either. Toby was just so amazing, she didn't even know what she did to deserve such an amazing and honest boyfriend, or, er, fiancé.

"Fiancé." Spencer whispered. Holy crap, shit just got real. Saying the word out loud, it felt like a new word slipping off her tongue. Toby entered the bathroom entrance, Spencer still sitting on the ground, seeming to be dazing off at her new perfume and lotion. "Choosing one to put on?" Toby asked, snapping Spencer from her day dream. "Oh, uh, no. Haha, I just am still processing." Toby half smiled, and crossed his arms, his biceps flexing. "Processing things about being engaged?" Spencer blushed at the word. "Yes, processing the fact I am going to be your wife." Toby looked down, seeming to blush himself. "I can't wait to see you in a beautiful white dress, Mrs. Cavanaugh."

Spencer laughed. "Wow, Spencer Jill Cavanaugh." Saying her new name sent chills up her spine. She was so excited. Spencer stood up, kissing Toby gently, but then kissing him harder as his hands went lightly around her waist. She pulled away, as he kissed her one more time. "My husband." Spencer whispered. Spencer looked down at her ring, and Toby grabbed her hand, looking at the ring too.

"I remember my mother wearing this. It looks so beautiful on you, Spence." Spencer was taken a step back. "It was you r mother's? Oh, Toby, this is too special…" She began to say, being considerate. Toby shook his head.

"She would've loved you Spence. I wish she could've met you. You would've loved my Mom, she was an amazing person, always happy. She told me, right around when she… died… she gave me her ring, it was too much to remind her of my dad. She told me to, 'give it to your special girl'. I didn't think that could ever be possible after my experience with my mom's death, and Alison's torture through high school, but I met you. You were this amazing girl, this pure light in my eyes. I remember seeing your smile, and thinking, 'Wow. So this is what my mom meant'. And when I kissed you, it felt more than right. It felt like I had completed a lifetime goal, it was beyond amazing. And now…" He looked at the ring, then back at Spencer. "I know my mom was right. She would've wanted this. I know she's happy for me, somewhere. I wish she could've seen how happy I am with you. Experienced her son becoming a husband, than a father, than a grandfather…" Toby looked down, his eyes growing weary with emotion and a struck of pain hit his expression. Spencer grew concerned, and she touched Toby's chin, it wobbled slightly.

"Toby… She loves you. She will be able to see that. She is watching, I promise you. She is proud of you Toby. I know if I were the mother of an amazing son like you, I would've been more than beyond overjoyed to have had you in my life." Spencer tried to get him to look at her, and he slowly did. "Thank you Spencer." Spencer frowned, her voice getting emotional too. "I'm sorry Toby. About all of that. I know it's been hard for you. The ring… It's beautiful Tobes."

Toby looked at her, and he slowly wrapped his arms around her, drawing her in for a hug. Spencer closed her eyes and let him just hold her. "I love you." Toby said surely, his voice calmer, like he reached a clear understanding, like he had finally let go. Spencer smiled, her voice growing weighed down by random specks of tears in her voice. "I love you too." Her voice cracked on the last word, and Toby rubbed her back. "No, you're not supposed to be crying Spence." Spencer laughed uneasily. "No, I'm fine." She pulled away, looking up at Toby's deep blue eyes. The light lightly traced around the right side of his face. "I'm just… So thankful. For you, for this engagement… for everything you've given me." His eyes glowed, and Spencer shook away the over emotional thoughts. "Sorry, I don't know why I'm getting so emotional." Toby shook his head, saying, "No, Spence, don't apologize."

It was quiet for a moment. Toby began to walk out of the room, and then turned around to say something to her. "Do you want to meet up with everyone later? Or do you just want to see you r friends, you know, tell them about… the engagement?" Spencer felt like she was going to pass out. Tell her friends? Wow, she was so curious at how they were going to react. "Yeah, I think we should just go and tell everyone. Here, I mean, unless you want to go somewhere else",-

Toby looked out into the hallway, then back at her. "No, here's fine. I'll just grab the rest of the presents, and bring them in here, is that alright?"

Spencer nodded, as she watched Toby move swiftly out of the room. She was about to go follow him, but she felt the urge to take a shower after that long morning. "Tobes!" Spencer yelled out, hearing him shuffling down the hall to the presents on the floor near the tree. "Yeah, Spence?"

Spencer eyed the bathroom, and then called out, "I'm going to take a quick shower!" She heard Toby almost running down the hall, and he had an armful of gifts that were in pink bags, stumbling into the room, and then setting them gently onto the messy bed. "Oh, okay." He began to organize some of the pillows back around the bed, and Spencer crossed her arms, as she whispered only loud enough for him to hear her, "I was kind of hoping you could join me…"

She saw Toby's back freeze in motion, and his hands paused on the black pillows of the bed he was organizing. She searched him for an answer, as he turned around, his eyes curious. "Really?" Spencer nodded. "Well, I live here now, AND I'm going to be your wife. Plus, my parents can't really come barging through the room anymore"—

But she was cut off as Toby's arms slipped around her waist, and he pressed a hard kiss against her mouth. She threw her hands around his neck, pulling her hips to his, her eyes closing. She heard the gifts fall off the bed as he stumbled to get closer to her, but she didn't care. He began to lead her backwards towards the bathroom, but she was already prying his shirt up. Toby helped her, and he pried off his shirt. Spencer opened her eyes to him, his deep blue eyes passionately grazing into her eyes.

Toby couldn't believe this. Well, not the sex part. But how much in love he really was in with her. He helped Spencer take off her t-shirt she borrowed from him, and he was glad she had no bra on, as he kissed her under her jaw. She laughed, and he laughed against her throat, still kissing her. She gripped him around his waist, placing a kiss to his chest as she easily slipped off her boxers she borrowed from him. Toby saw, and he slid off his signature pajama pants, then his boxers as Spencer grabbed the shower curtain, throwing it over, so she could slide inside the shower. "Mmm, wait!" Spencer called against his mouth. He pulled away, looking at her, concerned. "Something wrong?" Spencer reached for her left hand, as she pulled off the ring that rested on her hand. She reached out of the shower, placing the ring on the sink counter, and then leaning back against the shower wall. "Just almost forgot."

He leaned back down to kiss her, and he felt her body press against him, friction, heat. Spencer turned the shower nozzle, and freezing water poured down on top of them, and she gasped. He felt her skin go numb with goose bumps. "Jeez!" She shivered. Toby smiled at her small cute expression, as the water began to warm slowly up, so did they. Toby wrapped his arms around her hips, and then kisses her neck, more to the right. He knew this was one of her most tender places, her body shaking, but not from the cold anymore, but from the heat.

She closed her eyes, feeling his warm and soft lips on her bare skin. She even felt her eyes roll back into her head, as if this kiss was her kryptonite, yet, it was her drug. Her legs tightened, the muscles contracting. She gripped his shoulders, and she lifted herself up on her toes, his kiss tracing down her neck, to her place above her heart. He slid himself between her legs, the glass mirrors outside growing smeared with evaporated water from heat. She opens her eyes as soon as he does, and she sees his hair, now wet and battered down, pressed against his forehead. His chest was glowing with the warm water trailing down from it. She breathed heavily, her chest beating fast from the frequent heartbeats. Things just continued to get more heated, with heavy breathing, shaking bodies, hard kisses. Spencer was just completely losing herself in his touch. What a shower that was.

After their little shower experience, she felt a lot more trusting, well, she trusted Toby completely, but now showering with him was… Wow. Toby handed Spencer a towel from under the sink, and she smiled. "Thank you." She began to dry her hair, which was in natural beach waves, irritating her sometimes. Toby just shook his hair, like a wet dog, and the specks of water hit Spencer in the face. "Toby!" She laughed, pushing his chin up, so he was looking at her. He was smiling. "You're a human, not a puppy dog." Toby bit her neck lightly. "Relax, I don't bite… too hard." Spencer rolled her eyes, laughing slightly, before she continued to dry her legs off, then her chest. Toby just continued shaking his hair, and he just wrapped the towel around his waist, walking confidently out of the bathroom.

Spencer leaned over the counter for the sink, grabbing her ring, and sliding it gently back onto her ring finger and wrapped her towel around herself, walking after Toby. "Toby, can you grab me my brush off the side table please?" She called out, drying her hair with her towel between her hands. Toby nodded his head, and grabbed her black brush, and then she opened her hands for her to catch it. He threw it gently, and she caught it.

Spencer continued to brush through her hair slowly, her beach waves crazy, and parted slightly in the middle. There was the loud blare of her cell phone on the night stand. "Dammit." She whispered, grabbing her phone, and answering with a sharp, "Hello?"

"Um, hi?" She heard it was Emily's voice. Spencer sighed, and then she smiled. "Hey, Em! Merry Christmas!" Emily laughed softly on the end, as Spencer made her way across the room to the closet, where Toby was choosing a blue and black stripped shirt, and jeans, along with a pair of black boxers. Spencer squeezed past him, searching for her clothes for that day. She kept one hand on her phone. Toby exited the closet, kissing her cheek before he left. "Merry Christmas indeed! Did you see outside? Oh, it's so pretty!" Spencer nodded. "Yeah, yeah I did. Hey, um, do you know if you and the girls could maybe meet us at, hold on," Spencer placed her hand on the phone, calling out, "Toby!"

She heard the wooden floorboards creak as Toby reentered the closet door way. "Yeah, Spence?"

"Where do you think we could meet the girls and the others?" Toby looked thoughtful, and then just looked back over to her, tapping his finger on the door. "Maybe at that one neat bar we once went to, huh?" Spencer thought about 'that' incident and she laughed quietly, before answering with, "Yes, how could I forget." She turned her attention back to the phone in her left hand. "Hey, Em, can you meet us at the Rosewood Bar? The one near the grille later?" She heard Emily call out something, probably talking to Paige. Then she heard Emily's voice grow louder as she began to talk to Spencer again.

"Yeah, I think that will be fine. Can I ask why we are going to the bar?" Spencer had to think quickly. "It's our last day to celebrate Christmas, it'll be, uh, fun." Emily sounded confused as she replied eerily with, "Okay then, haha." Spencer paused, stopping to take a glance at the ring still placed on her finger.

Spencer leaned onto her right leg, allowing her weight to shift. She felt a little woozy, maybe from the growing nerves of telling the girls the big news. "So, I'll see you soon? Around seven?" Emily asked when Spencer didn't say anything. Spencer was sent back into reality. "Yeah, yeah, thanks Em. Can you tell Aria and Hanna the same thing?" She heard Emily agree, "Yeah, I will. See you soon Spencer! Say hi to Toby for me, can ya?" Spencer smiled, "Yes, I will. Love you Emily."

"I love you too Spence!"

Nerves everywhere. Minutes seemed hours for her, pacing was the only way to keep her breakfast down. Her hands seemed to shake every ten seconds. Why was she so shaky? Oh, right. She was engaged. This was something that would change her life forever, but in the best way possible. As she was pacing, she saw Toby's silhouette in the doorway. She saw his eyes narrow at her with uncertainty as she continued walking from the bed, to the closet door, then back, her finger to her lips. Toby walked into the bedroom. Spencer was now clothed in a black dress, a brown belt around her small waist. She left her hair in its natural waves, and she applied only some mascara and black eyeliner in the corner of her eyes.

Toby touched her elbow as she kept pacing, and then he gently constricted her arm with his fingers, causing her to stop pacing for the past ten to fifteen minutes. She stopped, and looked up at him. Toby hugged her, as if on instinct. "Why are you pacing, sweetheart?" Spencer allowed her arms around his lower back, holding herself to him. "Nothing, I'm okay." Toby pulled away, his hands still around her elbows. "Spencer, I know you. You pace after a fight with your parents, from a bad grade, or from stress. Why are you stressed?" Spencer knew she had been caught. Toby knew her far too well.

"I'm just nervous I guess. How they'll react, how everything will change…" She began, but Toby interjected. "Spencer. Nothing is going to change. I love you, your friends love you. They're going to be happy for you, for us. I know they will."

Spencer stared up at his eyes, mesmerized by just how well he did know her, how he always knew what to say to her when she felt out of place. Spencer remembered when she and Toby had first gone to the Rosewood Bar, how Spencer was going off to college within a number of days, and she wanted to just spend time with Toby. At a bar. What a bad (but amazing) idea that was:

_"__No, I am NOT drunk."_

_Spencer continued to walk in zig-zag lines around the bar, Toby grabbing her around her waist, but she kept prying his arms off her, as she continued to try to walk back to the bartender. "I need straight vodka!" She tried to call. Toby was worried sick. He only was not drunk because he wanted to take care of Spencer. She clearly was out of it, her eyes bloodshot and her hair smelling of strong alcohol. _

_"__Spencer, stop. You're going to fall." Toby tried to pull her next to him, but she was stubborn. "Stop, I just want to have fun!" She couldn't even see in front of her. She suddenly felt her heel of her shoe die under her twisted foot, as she fell. But Toby was on guard, and he grabbed her around her waist, and under her neck, and he pulled her back up. She was so drunk, she didn't even notice her burning ankle. _

_"__Owe! Mother fucker!" She wasn't the type to curse, but being the overly drunk teen, she was cursing every chance she got. _

_"__What hurts?" Toby asked, as he began to help her out of the bar. Guys kept staring at Spencer, their eyes hungry and filled with lust, which made Toby want to beat them all to a pulp. But he had to focus on getting her outside and safe somewhere with him. Spencer leaned on Toby, limping with her broken black heels. _

_They got inside Spencer's car, and Toby found her bag thrown across her shoulder. Toby reached over Spencer after he placed her gently into the passenger seat, and she kept staring at him, drunk and filled with a sudden lust. "I want you Toby." Her voice rang, but Toby buckled her in her seat, as she reached at him, beginning to already unbutton his shirt. He grabbed her hands, and he pressed them down next ot her side, trying to make her calm down. "No, no, Spence. Relax, okay?" Spencer just laughed, and replied with a sarcastic sailor gesture from her hand to her forehead, "Aye, aye, captain." Toby rolled his eyes, as he pressed her keys into the ignition. Spencer suddenly didn't feel good, and she started to feel muffled and sad. She suddenly felt this overwhelming loss. She felt a tear fall from her cheek as Toby began to drive her home, and then, she was sobbing. Toby looked over, and his eyes widened in sadness at his sobbing girlfriend next to him. She was cold, drunk, hurting, and now sobbing all over her pretty face. _

_Toby pulled over at her house, and he got out of the car, running to her side, and swung her car door open, gathering her into his arms. She continued to cry, Toby shushing her gently as he carried her into her house, going up the stairs with her in his arms. He settled her into her bed, and he lied down next to her, holding her in his arms, warm and safe. "Spencer, why are you crying?" He asked, his voice concerned and gentle. Spencer grabbed his shirt, and she sobbed against his chest. "I don't want to go."_

_Toby felt the pure sadness. He understood. She didn't want to go to college because she wouldn't be able to see him. "Spence…" Toby didn't want to tell her she was going to be okay, because by the way she was sobbing in his chest, he felt like he was going to cry too. "I love you. No distance, no amount of time, is going to change that. I'm going to visit you every chance I have. I promise you." Spencer sniffled. "But I don't, I can't, I can't stand not being near you. It's too hard."_

Toby kissed her forehead, rocking her gently. "I know, Spence, I know, but you're going to college, and I'm so proud of you, babe. So proud. You're going to outsmart every other college student, I know it because I've seen you do it here, and with me." He got a laugh from Spencer. He smiled, and continued. "I know it's going to be hard. Hell, I'm going to miss you like crazy. But I love you, and I'm not going to be thinking of anything or anyone but you. I know you're going to do amazing things. Things beyond impossible. Right?" Spencer sniffled again, and nodded slightly. "I guess so."

_Spencer nestled her head into his chest, falling asleep easily in his arms. He kept her close that night, enjoying these simple seconds that would last the amazing forever. _


	9. Chapter 9: Sickness and Health

She sat patiently in the car, waiting for Toby to come down the stairs. It was still cold outside, the wind blowing in the chilly evening air into the truck, which wasn't well conceived from the outside world. She shivered slightly, her breath coming out in small pants. She could slightly see her warmth breath exhale from her mouth, as she turned to the left to see Toby running down the stairs, throwing a red scarf around his neck, his beanie covering his ears. The snow battered down slowly on him, as he came to the driver's side of the truck, and he slid inside next to her.

"Ready?" He asked, as she nodded quickly in response. He looked at her as he turned his head to look at her, and he took off his beanie, and she shook her head, "No, I'm fine." But Toby smiled, and he still gently placed the black beanie over her head, covering the tops of her ears. "No, no. Spence, you look like Rudolph with that nose, it's the least I can do."

Spencer looked at the review mirror to see her nose was really red, and she covered it with her hands, and Toby laughed, leaning over and kissing her cheek. "You're so adorable." Spencer looked over at Toby, smiling gently. "Adorable, huh?"

Toby nodded, and began to press the truck forward in place, giving it a little bit of gas, as he kept his eyes on the road. "Yes, and many other things." He replied, as the truck began to warm gently up. Spencer looked at Toby as he continued to drive. She then looked down at her left hand, she used her right hand to touch the ring on her finger, tracing over the diamond surface. It was truly beautiful. There was no doubt about it. She felt the rise of butterflies in her stomach as the truck approached the bar. "Oh God." Spencer whispered to herself over and over again. Toby noticed, and he got out off the truck, walking over to her side, and opening her door. "Spencer, it'll be fine. I promise." He waited for her to come out of the truck, and as she did, she saw that the girls were inside already, all sitting at a table near the windows.

Emily had a purple beanie over her hair, a smile on her face. Hanna wore a black coat, edgy, but her style. Aria wore an outrageous pink leather jacket, and her hair was pulled into a braid. Caleb and Ezra and Paige were also there, Caleb wearing a green and grey plaid shirt, Ezra wearing a light blue button up shirt, Paige having a cream colored coat that went down to her knees, and jeans.

She was so nervous, she felt like she could puke. But at the same time, she felt excited. She was sure they were curious why Spencer and Toby asked them all there. And now… now she was going to tell them.

Toby held her hand as they walked into the bar, which already overwhelmed her with the scent of strong beer and alcohol. As she traced her eyes over to Hanna, she could tell she was already drinking from the strange glow in her blue eyes. Hanna saw them, and pointed. "Hey there! It's the lover birds!"

Caleb shushed her quietly, but he got up, and he smiled at Spencer gently, and Spencer smiled back as Toby gave him a brotherly hug. "Hey Caleb." Spencer welcomed, as she gave him a warm hug. He smelled of cologne, and some hints of beer. Emily, Hanna, and Aria were behind Caleb, and as Caleb turned around to go back to his seat, Hanna hugged Spencer tightly. "Woah, there Han. Don't fall." Spencer laughed, hugging her wild friend back. "So, what's this all about, huh?" Aria asked, as Hanna pulled away. Toby looked at Spencer, but Spencer just swallowed.

"Let's get, uh, settled first." Spencer could only say that. Aria and the girls looked at each other, but they sighed, and sat back down at the eight seated table arrangement. Four of them sat on one side, Hanna and Caleb, Paige and Emily, and then Toby and Spencer sat on the other side, with Ezra and Aria. Spencer made sure to keep her hands under the table, not wanting them to see the ring just yet. "So, how was your guys's Christmas, eh?" Caleb asked from across from Toby. Toby smiled. "It was unforgettable. How about yours?" Caleb raised an eyebrow at him, and asked, "Unforgetable, huh? In what ways?"

Everyone had their eyes on Toby and Spencer. Spencer looked at Toby, and he smiled at her, eyeing the ring on her left hand. "I think Spencer should show you guys."

It was time, oh no. All eyes were on her, and she knew it was time. She couldn't keep this to herself for another minute. Spencer swallowed, and she felt her heart race in her chest, as she slowly raised her hand up, over the table, and she allowed their eyes to follow her hand, as Emily and the girls screamed. Like, really, really screamed. All of their eyes widened, until all three were screaming out loud.

"OH MY GOD!"Emily gasped in excitement.

"YOU'RE ENGAGED?"Aria asked, jumping in her seat.

"HOLY SHIT!" Hanna screamed, tipping back her head, laughing.

The guys and Paige had their mouths open, and they looked at each other, as smiled spread on their faces. Aria and the girls raced out of their seats, hugging Spencer in her seat. Spencer laughed, and then she felt tears in her eyes. "Oh my gosh Spencer, we're so proud to hear this!" Emily gasped again, hugging Spencer's shoulders. Spencer felt tears in her eyes. Toby reached over and squeezed her hand. "I love you guys so much." Spencer smiled, as she looked at Toby. The girls settled themselves back down, and Hanna piped out, "Oh, you guys have to tell us what happened!"

All the prying eyes were on them again. This time, Spencer spoke up, smiling gently.

"Well…I woke up Christmas morning, and, well, Toby said that there was a surprise for me in the living room. When I went out there, he set up a bunch, and I mean a BUNCH of gifts, which, Toby, was way too much," Toby laughed as he held her hand, "And then… after I opened all of them, Toby said there was one more gift, and he reached into the tree and popped out a ring… and yeah, that's how I got… engaged."

The girls squealed in excitement. "Oh my gosh, that's so cute!" Hanna jumped, and Caleb smiled. "Congrats, guys. I'm happy for you." Toby looked at Spencer, and then back at Caleb. "Thanks Caleb, we appreciate it. All of you guys, thanks."

Spencer didn't really feel like drinking, but she had herself one beer as they all had cheers and Hanna told everyone how she and Caleb had went camping, and they decorated a wild tree all on their own, and camped out. Spencer loved how much Hanna and Caleb were different, but they made such an amazing couple. Ezra and Aria had stayed at his place, watching Christmas classics, and eating their favorite pie. Paige and Emily had gone Christmas caroling, and after they said they went in a hot tub, and drank eggnog, waking up and going jogging together. Everyone seemed to have had an amazing Christmas. Spencer was pretty happy with everything that was going on. After she finished her beer after an hour or so, she felt sort of sick. Maybe it was the previous nerves, or maybe she just was queasy in cold weather.

Toby never let her hand go once. He didn't drink much either, it was a habit of his ever since Spencer and him had previously gone to the bar and Spencer had ended up a crazy drunk. Spencer smiled at the thought, as Hanna talked about how she thought they were going to have to fight off a bear. But Spencer knew Hanna was just being, well, Hanna. She was the humor of the group.

Time flew by far too fast. Two and a half hours, and it was almost seven o'clock. Spencer felt exhausted, which was unusual for her. But, Toby saw her yawn at least four times, and he knew that was a sign. They all said their goodbyes, the girls congratulating Spencer and Toby again. She almost felt too tired to thank them again. Odd, odd, odd.

As they walked out of the bar, Spencer felt the air grow cold, but she felt hot, almost on fire inside. She kept it to herself, she was sure it was just the beer taking affect on her. Toby began to drive her back to the loft, and she stayed quiet mainly, until Toby said something a minute or two into the drive. "That went really well, don't you think?"

Spencer nodded, and she forced a response, "Yeah, they're really great."

Toby didn't seem concerned, he seemed happy. She was glad he was, she really was. She could tell that their responses took a huge affect on him, but, in a good way. She really did love him more than anything in the world. Spencer felt the heat rise in her stomach, but she closed her eyes to calm herself. The truck seemed super unsteady as they drove back, every bump over the road rocking her whole body. Oh, god, she felt so sick.

They finally reached the loft, and Toby pulled the truck to a stop. He climbed out, and Spencer knew she'd have to run to the bathroom. She felt it in her gut. She threw her door open, and she saw Toby was waiting for her at the top of the stairs. She climbed up each step, feeling lightheaded, and Toby slid the key in, unlocking the door. The door creaked open as an easy breeze brushed Spencer's locks of hair behind her neck. He opened the red door, and Spencer immediately ran through the loft as her stomach raged with fire. Toby raced after her as she ran into the bedroom, throwing the bathroom toilet lid up, and vomiting out all of the food she ate that day. She hit her knees against the tile, coughing as tears welled up in her eyes.

"-Spencer, Spence!" Toby kneeled beside her, pulling her hair away from her face gently, as she coughed over and over again. Toby's eyes were moving fast, looking at her face, then at her shaking back, as he used his free hand to rub her back gently over her spine. She shivered and she felt her hand quench her stomach. "Spence…" She heard his voice was full of concern, as he brought her to his chest gently after she calmed herself. She shook as he rocked her gently in the warmth of his chest, his arms proving to not let her go. "I don't know what happened, I just felt sick, and I"—

"It's fine, Spencer. Just try to relax, okay?"

Spencer nodded but she felt like her stomach was on fire. She felt more tears well up in the corners of her eyes, as she felt her throat grow tense with small sobs. She then started to cry softly, and Toby shifted as he pulled her closer to his chest, than he gently stood up with her in his arms, as he exited the bathroom, and he slowly placed her onto the bed. Spencer curled into a ball facing Toby, as he leaned next to the bed, touching her forehead with the back of his hand, his other hand resting on her knee.

"You're really warm, Spence. Did you drink a lot?" Toby asked, his eyes searching hers as she cried slightly, pouting, "No… no."

He leaned over her, kissing her forehead, and then grabbing her hand, his other hand still on her knee, his thumb rubbing soothing circles along her knee. "I'm going to go grab you a cold towel, okay? Just try to breathe Spencer. I'll be right back."

Spencer could only nod, as he worriedly rushed into the bathroom. Spencer stared at the door; it was sideways due to her vision from lying on the bed on her side. She felt like the loft was too still and quiet, then she heard the sink run, and drips of water platting down the drain. She heard the squeak of the facet being turned off, as Toby's silhouette reappeared from the doorway, as he walked next to her, with a white towel in his left hand. He gently pressed the cold cloth to her forehead, and she closed her eyes. He touched her hip, and she could feel his eyes on her. She opened her eyes slightly, to find him staring at her, his eyes lost, confused, worried.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, kneeling down on his knees, adjusting the towel on her forehead. Spencer couldn't find her voice for a few seconds, before she replied back, "I don't know…still a little bit sick." She felt a jump in her stomach, and she closed her eyes quickly. Toby then saw, he felt terrible for her.

Watching her whither in sickness hurt his heart. It hurt him to the point where it even brought him physical pain just to see her this way. His head hurt from trying to figure out logical reasons for this, she was definitely not drunk, but she seemed eerily pale and the color was drained from her face. Her forehead was sweating, and he tried to bring down her temperature with the towel. He felt awful because he felt like he couldn't do anything to make her pain go away. "I'm so sorry." He whispered to her, leaning in closer to her, his hand tightening around her waist, as he looked down at the floor.

He felt her small hand touch him under his chin, and raise his face to look at hers. Her wide brown eyes were tear stained, and his right hand reached up to her face, stroking the tears away from the left side of her face with his thumb. He felt sick as well, not literally, but that he wasn't a doctor, he didn't have the tools to help her. He stared into her eyes, as she smiled slightly. "Don't apologize Tobes. You're the best fiancé that I could ever have."

"But…" He began, but she placed her thumb to his lips. "Shh, it's okay. It's okay, no buts." He went silent, but he still felt bad. He could tell she was still feeling sick by the way she was clenching her stomach with her right hand. He looked down at her stomach, and Spencer followed his gaze.  
"Okay. Do you want me to get you some Tums? For your stomach?" He asked, lightly touching her stomach. She breathed in, and she looked at him, nodding quickly.

She felt bad that he was feeling responsible for her sickness, he was always so protective, but she loved that side of him. She knew he'd always be there for her, like he had many times before…

_"__102! Spencer, you need to go to a doctor!"_

_Spencer was lying on her couch in her house, it was her near the end of her senior year. She warned Toby to keep his distance from her, she had been sick for a day, her temperature rising profusely. He was pacing in front of her, his hands pressed to his forehead in a worried place. "Toby, it's fine"—_

_"__No, it's definitely not fine. Spence, you're really sick." He stopped pacing, as she looked sadly at the ground in front of her. He sighed, as he sat onto the couch, at her thigh. He touched her back lightly, as she felt the heat of sickness hit her. She grew dizzy, and had to lie back. "I'm sorry. I've just never seen you this sick before, I just… I want to help you."_

Spencer looked over to him, gazing into his deep blue eyes, as she touched his hand, remembering to not touch him too much, scared of getting him sick too. "Toby, you're helping me just by being here. Really, I love you so much." She watched him as his eyes lightened up at the sound of her confessing she loved him. He leaned over her, grabbing her hand into both of his. "I love you too Spence."

_Spencer smiled, but then she felt sick. Toby immediately grabbed the trash can that was empty next to him all day, and he leaned next to her, rubbing her back, as she leaned over the trash can, but nothing came out, she just felt sick, but empty. "Still no doctor?" Toby asked, rubbing her back still, as he held the trash can under her still. Spencer shook her head. Toby smiled, "You're so stubborn Hastings." _

_Spencer smiled, as he placed the trash can back down. "Who needs a doctor, I've got you." _

_She spent the rest of her twenty hours sick watching movies on Netflix, Toby never leaving her side. Not once. And not ever. _

Spencer remembered those moments, some small, some great like those, but she'd never choose one moment over any other. She loved every moment she had with him, no matter what. Even right now, as she felt another burst of heat hit her stomach. Toby came back into the room, as Spencer's eyes widened. She thought back to all these great moments with Toby, but she forgot... oh my god. The sickness, the dizziness... could it be...?

Numbers flashed across her mind, as she thought back to all of the time she spent with him during the Christmas holiday, and now, she had completely forgotten about…

Toby raced next to her, a Tums that was red in his hand. "Spencer, what's wrong?"

Spencer nervously looked at Toby slowly, as she murmured; "Toby…"Toby touched her hand, and answered with, "Yes?"

She looked up to him, Toby's nerves growing as she seemed more and more scared. She closed her eyes, and she seemed to shake. Toby felt really scared now, and he asked her, "Spencer, what's going on?"

She looked at him now, as she shakily said, "Can we go to a drugstore?" Toby nodded, but he then asked her, "Of course, what do you need?" Spencer answered with:

"I'll need a lot of Tums and…

…and a pregnancy test."

Toby's world froze, as Spencer looked up at him, her vision growing blurry with tears…


	10. Chapter 10: Opening Up

Nothing. He didn't say anything. He seemed like someone had just pressed pause on his whole entire life. She felt herself shake as he stared at the air it seemed, and she looked down. The silence was cut off by the loud bleep of Spencer's phone from her coat that was in the bathroom on the floor. She got up, and she noticed Toby was still frozen, his knees on the wood floor, his eyes staring ahead of him. His beanie was still on his head, and she saw him look down, but then he stared at the floor below him. Spencer grabbed her phone from her coat, and slid it to her ear, clicking the call open. "Hello?"

"Spencer? Hey! It's Hanna, just wanted to check up on you, you were pretty quiet at the bar, and I just wanted to make sure"—

"Oh, Hanna, no… it's…its fine, ummm," She stopped, because she felt tears grow in her eyes, as she brought her palm to her mouth. "Spencer? Spence, what's wrong?" Hanna asked, her voice growing anxious. Spencer let out a small pout, as she said, "Can… do you think you could come to Toby's loft and pick me up? I… I need to get something from the drug store…" Hanna was quiet, and then she answered back, "Spencer, why are you so upset? The drugstore… why would you need to…" But then she heard Hanna gasp. She heard Hanna in the background grabbing what sounded like her keys, as she quickly said, "Oh. My God, you think…?"

Spencer nodded, and whispered, "I think so…" Spencer let out a few tears, and she turned to face Toby, who was still on the floor, staring. It worried her. "Hanna, please just, can you hurry?" She cried, as she began to walk out of the bathroom. "Yes, I'll be there in a minute or two." Spencer hung up, and she leaned next to her boyfriend, his blue eyes still and cold.

"Toby…" Spencer couldn't even get her words out; she started to cry all over again. Suddenly, she closed her eyes, and she stayed standing up, as she threw her hands to her face, covering her eyes, sobbing into her hands. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry…" But then she felt two warm arms wrap around her, and she felt Toby bring her into his chest, as he took deep breaths. She leaned into him, as she cried. "I'm so stupid…"

"Stop, Spencer." Toby's voice said, but he sounded hurt. She opened her eyes, and looked at his bicep that was holding her against him. "But… but what if I really am… god…" Spencer let her arms wrap around Toby, holding herself to him as she cried. Toby rocked her slowly rubbing her back lightly, whispering, "I know this wasn't planned… we don't know for sure yet… but Spencer…" He pulled away from her, and he slightly leaned down to look at her in the face, and he touched her chin, to allow her to stare at him in his eyes. He had tears in his eyes, as he said this slowly, meaningfully, passionately: "I love you. Pregnant, or not, you are my fiancée, my girl, and I will do everything I can to take care of you." Spencer sobbed a little bit, as Toby hugged her again. It was silent in the room, it echoed her small cries. "I'm scared…" Spencer pouted. She felt weak to say it, but it was true. She wasn't ready to bring a baby into this world, but hell, she didn't want to think about getting an abortion. To her, she couldn't do that. But was she really ready to take on the challenges of being a mom? She didn't think she could, hell; she couldn't really even take care of herself. So… how on Earth could she protect her baby, Toby's baby?

"I know this is scary, Spencer, but please don't stress this out, don't blame yourself…" He paused, and Spencer looked up at him. He had another tear in his eye. "This is my fault. I should've… I should've been careful, but, I… I wasn't…" She stopped him. She touched his face with the side of her palm, trailing it down his face. "Shh… Please don't do that."

"Do what?" He asked, turning away, bringing his hands to his eye, wiping the tear away shamefully. Spencer grabbed him around his waist, and she stared up at him. "I'm sorry; I'm just… out of myself." Toby said, looking down at her gently, his eyes glistening with shame. She was about to speak again, but there were three quick knocks at the front door. Spencer watched as Toby wiped another tear away, and he turned to get go get the door, but Spencer touched his hand, stopping him. "I've got it… stay here Tobes." He stopped, but after she left, she saw his eyes watch her as she opened the red door, and as soon as she did, Hanna slid inside, her face sweating and red. She wore a red leather jacket, black jeans that were ripped, and her boots were dirty. Her hair was all frizzy in all the wrong places, and Hanna wiped sweat from her forehead, as Spencer took in her exhausted friend.

"Hanna, what's wrong?" Spencer asked; looking at Hanna's tired expression. Hanna suddenly lifted up a grocery bag, and Spencer grabbed it gently from her. She peered inside, and saw a pregnancy test box inside. She ripped her eyes back to Hanna, and hugged her tightly. Hanna hugged her back.

"I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable… so… I turned around as I got here, and I drove to the drugstore. I pulled my red hoodie over my head, and I skimmed through the isle, and I bought this for you. I was hoping no one saw me, but… what the hell. That's what friends are for."

Spencer smiled, and Hanna walked over to the couch, and placed her head back on the back of the couch, breathing out loudly. Spencer walked over, and sat next to her. She saw that Toby was out now, he was standing near the door, his shoulder leaning against it. Hanna gasped when she saw Toby, and she whispered to Spencer, "Does he know…?"

Spencer nodded. Hanna got up off the couch, and she 'hugged' Toby. She'd never done that before. Toby seemed surprised, and he hugged Hanna back, he seemed to appreciate her comfort. Hanna had that affect on people. "I'm so sorry… For both of you. But, I'm here to help, in any way, shape, or form. And kick A's ass if they get involved."

Spencer smiled gently at her small remark, but then she felt fear. Toby watched her face as Hanna walked back over to the couch, sitting right from Spencer. Toby paced over to Spencer, and she felt her hands beginning to shake. "Spencer? Are you feeling sick again?" Toby asked, sitting next to Spencer, taking her hands in his. "A… they'll find out…" Spencer began. Hanna stared at Spencer, her eyes sad and worried for her. Spencer looked down at the pregnancy test box that was on the floor in the bag, and she reached inside it, taking the box from the grocery bag. Toby's eyes shifted from the box in her hand, to Spencer's face. "I won't let A hurt you… or the baby… Are you ready to take the test?" Toby added, trying to stay calm. Spencer nodded, but she had never felt this nervous and anxious in her whole life. If it was negative, she'd probably just breathe and slowly get over it… but if it was positive… if she really was pregnant… What was she going to do?

"Hanna… Toby… can you guys just wait here? I'll be right back." Hanna stood up as Spencer got up and began to walk towards the bedroom. "You sure you don't want me to be with you? I could like, rub your shoulders, or help you aim the"—

"Whoa, Hanna, I love you, but I need to do this on my own." Hanna nodded, and as she picked her pink IPhone from her back pocket. "Do you want me to call the girls…?" Hanna asked, holding her phone in front of herself. Spencer nodded, and she tightened her grip on the box in her hands. Toby stood up, walking over to Spencer, as he grabbed her around the waist, and kisses her forehead gently. Spencer shook from nerves.

"No matter what the tests says Spencer… I'm going to be here for you, we all will. Okay?" Spencer whimpers, not from being upset, but because she knew this was true. She was so grateful for these people to be in her life, and even now she still had them. "Okay." She answered and Toby let her go, as she walked across the room, and to the bedroom. Once she was in the bedroom, she could hear Hanna on the phone with, it sounded like, Aria. She didn't really care, she wanted them to be here when she found out… found out if she was pregnant. The word even made her sick, not from actually being sickened by the word, but because the word seemed far too mature for her. She wasn't ready… she wasn't even married yet, for God's sake!

She breathed in, and then out slowly, as she entered the bathroom. She entered the bathroom slowly, the air still, as she closed the door behind her. It was time to find out the truth.

What if she was pregnant? What could he do to help her?

Toby kept thinking these thoughts over, sitting on the couch, his hands against his stomach. He felt like he, sort of, ruined their Christmas with this. Seeing her so stressed, so scared… He was hurting, aching, just to see her like this. He loved her so much; he just wanted the best for her, no matter what the cost. But, he never expected this. Never this, because if she was pregnant, they'd not only have to plan out their wedding, they'd have to plan out where they'd place a crib for their baby…

The thoughts overwhelmed him, and now for sure he thought he'd faint. Hanna saw him, as she got off the phone with Emily, and Hanna sat next to him. "Hey, Toby…" Hanna said gently. He couldn't even find the strength to say anything. Shit, he was scared. He was. Hanna stayed next to him, maybe a foot away from him. He slid his beanie off, tossing it onto the coffee table, and he placed his head into his hands.

"What if she really is pregnant?" Toby mumbled, and Hanna breathed in, her eyes growing sympathetic. "Then we're going to help her through this. She loves you so much Toby. And I know you love her. You two will get through this, you always have, right?"

Toby never really just talked to Hanna alone, but he could see what Spencer meant when she described Hanna as the, "bulb of light". Her words seemed to comfort Toby in small ways, but it was enough to have him smile slightly. "Yeah, you're right."

Hanna smiled gently back, as she reached into her bag, pulling out a Tums. Toby laughed slightly, as Hanna dropped the medicine into Toby's open hand. "Dude, you need it. You look like you just finished a season of American Horror Story." Toby rolled his eyes, adding a thanks, and he chewed it slowly in his mouth, the bitter taste making his tongue swell. Hanna turned to look at the bedroom, and then she turned back to him. "If you guys do have a baby…"

Toby froze as he chewed his Tums, and he turned to look at Hanna. "Yeah?" He asked.

Hanna shifted in her spot, uncomfortably, as she finished with, "…what if A does find out? Do you think… they'll try to do something?" Toby never thought about that. A baby in general comes with enough complications for preparation and when the baby was here… but with A in the picture, it seemed nearly impossible. "By A, do we mean Alison?" Toby asked. Hanna shrugged. "When… when Mona died… She left us things to prove Alison was A. We just never got Alison to admit it. I'm just… I love you both, and if anything happened to the baby because of A…" He heard Hanna stop as he stared down at the floor of the red rug below him, and heard her sniffle. He looked quickly up, to see Hanna was crying. Really crying. Toby turned to face her, and Hanna pushed her tears away.

"You guys deserve so much better… so much better than this…" Hanna kept crying silently. Toby tried to comfort Hanna with his words, "I have everything I ever wanted though, Hanna. I have Spencer, Spencer has you and Aria, and Emily. You guys all are there for each other, no matter what. Even… even if Spencer is pregnant… I won't let A get anywhere near her. Or you, or the girls. I promise that." Hanna looked up at Toby, and she patted his hand with hers. "You really are the perfect guy for Spencer."

That was when there was the sound of a creak from the other room. Hanna and Toby froze, but then they realized there was just someone at the door. "It's probably Aria or Emily." Hanna said, as she stood up, and she opened the door to Aria and Emily anxiously standing there.

"Where is Spencer?" Aria asked, a purple and blue jacket on, and white jeans, as she rushed inside Toby's loft. Emily followed behind her, her face still as if she still couldn't grip what was going on. "She's in the bathroom right now." Hanna answered, as she sat back down next to Toby. Emily stared at Toby with sympathetic eyes. Emily slowly sat next to Toby, Hanna on his left, Emily on his left. Emily touched Toby's shoulder. "Everything's going to okay. I know it." Emily whispered softly. Toby just nodded, staring at his knee, then at the floor.

Aria continued standing, an unreadable look on her face, she seemed uneasy, inpatient. "I'm going to go check on her,"—

Aria began, but Hanna butted in, "Aria, just let's give her some space. She'll take all the time she needs to… process." Hanna got quieter as she spoke.

He kept thinking about her, kept thinking, "Was this all my fault? Did I do this?" But he knew Spencer would tell him it wasn't his fault, that they were in this together. Maybe it was going to be okay, he'd figure something out, they'd figure something out. But a baby? Now, her was sure he wouldn't be a good father. He'd never had a good father, never had someone who taught him baseball, played video games with, none of that. So… if he had a kid, how could he possibly be a good father? Especially for Spencer's baby…

_They were relaxing at Spencer's house; she was probably still a senior as he remembered. He remembered watching her sleep; they were both near the fire in the living room. Both of her parents were gone that weekend, so Spencer had called him over to just talk to him and spend time with him. He didn't hesitate to drive there, even though he did have some landscaping blue prints to look over, he'd drop it all just to see her. _

_So, when he got there, he noticed the lights were dimmed out, and candles sat along the table tops, and over the fire place, more candles fluttered with gentle light. A smile grew across his face, when he saw Spencer sitting in front of the flames of the night fire, her hair pulled up in a high ponytail, wisps of curled hair surrounding her beautiful face. He knocked on the door twice behind the couch, and Spencer turned around, coffee mug in her hands. She smiled at him, her wide chocolate brown eyes glowing from the reflection of the fire. He slowly opened the door, and he slid inside. Spencer was wearing a light blue top, it had long sleeves, and she wore black pajama pants, they were tied around her waist. She had on black socks, and she had a blanket under her, pillows set up in front of the metal coffee table she lied against. _

_"__Hey Spence." He lightly welcomed over, as he began to take off his maroon jacket with the black hood. He let the jacket on the couch, as he slowly leaned down, then sat next to her. "Hey Toby." She sounded a little bit stressed, the crease between her eyes showed as she looked down at the coffee in her hands. "Hey, are you okay?" He asked. Her text to him had been blunt, saying "Come over please."_

_Spencer sighed, as she set the coffee to the left side of her hip, then pressed her hands against her stomach. "I'm alright." She answered bluntly, still looking at her hands on her stomach. He gave her a "I know better than that," look, and Spencer caught his look. She stared back at him, as he said, "Spencer, please talk to me, I'm here for you." _

_She breathed out, and she whispered, "I was just thinking…" She stopped, and she closed her eyes, her lashes dark. He cocked his head, and he wrapped his arm around her waist, then slid his thumb over her back. "Thinking, what?" He searched her face, her eyes, her mouth, something to tell him what was going on in her mind. "I'm never going to be a good mom." _

_Toby was taken aback by her statement, and he seemed to not understand where this was all coming from. "Spencer, where is all of this coming from?" She looked at him, and she had small lines under her eyes showing she was about to cry. "It's just… I never had the great family experiences, I just… I fought with my mom earlier, I just don't… I don't want to ever fight with my kids like that. I don't know, I'm just crazy talking, sorry." She wiped her eyes, and she shook her head. _

_Even just for her to think about that, just to know she wanted to be a good mom, made his heart beat steadily for her. "Spencer, you are going to be an amazing mother. I know it because I see it when I'm around you. For how much you care for your friends, for how responsible you are, Spence, you have such a big heart, and you share it with everyone. I'm sure that when the time comes, you're going to be the best mom any child could have. I know you will be." _

_Toby meant every word he said, as she looked at him, her eyes softer. "You always know what to say to me, Tobes. Thanks." She leaned in next to him, coiling her arms around his torso, bringing her body closer to his, as he was like her own personal teddy bear. He held her, as they both stared off into the fire together. "I love you." Toby whispered to her, kissing her forehead, "And if you ever need to talk about anything, anything…I'll be here for you, no matter what." Spencer breathed in at his words, as she snuggled in closer to him, her head tucked under his chin gently, she whispered, "I love you too."_

He felt his heart skip a beat as he heard the bathroom door open. They all turned their heads, as Spencer's frail silhouette came from the bedroom. So this was it, the results. Spencer looked up, and she saw Aria and Emily. She sighed, as Aria and Emily stood up, along with Hanna. Toby was the last to stand, probably because he was afraid. Afraid to look her in the eye, fearing she was too scared to even take on looking at him. But, he stood up, and when he did, his eyes lingered for hers. She caught his eye as he stared, and she nodded her head, and she held the test in her hand. Aria spoke first, "What is it Spence?"

Spencer took in an inhaul, and then she exhaled slowly, tears welling up in her eyes. This was the moment, the moment that would change all of their lives forever, positive or not.

Toby stood ready to hold her if she broke, but she just stood there. She had some tears around her face, her mascara was almost gone, and some of it was under her eyes. He also noticed she had changed her clothes, into a loose blue sweater, and gray pajama bottoms with black stripes. They waited for her to answer, as she opened her mouth slightly. Toby felt uncomfortable in his own skin, he just wanted to gather her into his arms and hold her there forever, to keep her safe from anything that meant her harm. That's when her small voice came out…

"It's…"


End file.
